The Shy Girl

Am I Worth It

I squint my eyes and raise my right hand, attempting to block the bright light that reflected off of a train heading this way. I hear the horn, but it sounded like static to me.

Should I get off of the tracks? Would anyone miss me when I'm gone? I think to myself.

I walk on the tracks almost every night to relieve stress and calm myself down. School, boys, and sometimes even my best friends make me feel like pulling all my hair out.

The train edges closer and I finally make a  decision to get out of the way before I become something similar to a flat pancake.

I hop off the tracks and head home. The noise of the night surrounds me, leaving me no choice but to listen; the train passing, people talking in the distance, crickets chirping, wind howling and blowing my dark brown hair in my face.

I kick a rock to ignore the background and my thoughts, but, with my wonderful luck, I trip and fall face first into a pile of raked up leaves in a stranger's yard. Great.

I stand up quickly, brushing off my red face and the front of my raggedy clothes before anyone could see the incident. Embarrassment sets in and all I can feel is my anxiety.

People laugh at me from a distance, but I sprint  to my house as fast as I can and try my best to ignore them.

"Where the hell have you been?" My mom asks in a rude tone as she slams the door behind me.

It took me by surprise; no one has ever really noticed my absence and nonbeing. I wince as her yelling voice echoes through my ears.

"I left my- my uh, pencil in the car. Or at least that's what I thought." I lie, not knowing how long my mom has realized that I've been gone.

"It took you almost an hour or so to find your pencil? A stupid pencil!" My mom shouts again.

I roll my eyes dramatically and trudge upstairs to my room, not in the mood for an argument tonight. Surprisingly, my mother did not follow me.

I shut my door and sit at my desk, propping my feet up on one side. I sigh as I decide I better do my math homework, which I've procrastinated about for long enough.

My phone rings before I could even finish the first math problem and I thank the supposed guy in the sky. I press answer and put my phone on speaker, allowing everything that is near me to hear our conversation.

"Hey girl!" Lizzy shouts bubbly, and I could tell she was smiling on the other end of the phone call.

"Hey, what's up?" I ask casually, grinning and playfully rolling my eyes, even though she couldn't see me.

"Just calling to chat. What about you?" She asks, laughing. I let out a long, dramatic breath and sigh. "That bad, huh?" Lizzy says.

"Still living in a hell." I comment, finishing the first question in the book.

"I'll call you later, my sister just got home. I'm sorry it was a short call." She quickly mentions as I hear commotion on the other end.

"See you at school tomorrow. Have fun. Bye." I frown disappointingly.

"Bye."

I toss my phone on my bed, hoping it doesn't bounce off and puncture a hole in my wall, and finish my math homework.

"Maddie, supper's ready!" My mom calls as she knocks on my door, this time with a peaceful tone.

"I'll be down in a few." I push my chair under my desk carefully and close my text book.