Fall Apart

Prologue

Prologue

I didn't know that it's possible to be hurt to the point that you can't actually feel the pain. Yung pakiramdam na lumagpas na yung sakit sa sukdulan kaya pinili na lang ng puso mo na walang maramdaman.

I'm so drained, emotionally and mentally.

I've been crying my heart out the past few days but the pain is still there. I guess there's nothing I can do to stop myself from hurting.

I loved him. He completes me and help get through all my shits in life. I was hopeful and confident to spend my life...my future with him. But he broke me. Something that I didn't expect him to do.

They always tell me to forgive and forget. But the truth is you can forgive but you can never forget.

Maaaring mapatawad mo ang taong nakagawa sa iyo ng kasalanan pero hindi ganun kadaling alisin sa isipan kung gaano kasakit ang ipinaramdam nito sa 'yo.

It's not as if you can just delete those memories because it stays there and you carry that for the rest of your life.

"This will be the last time, Inigo. Let's stop seeing each other and will you please just focus on the preparation of the wedding," I said seriously.

"I know. I'm sorry for asking too much from you." And he smiled sadly.

I looked away, scared that his face may get in to me.

"Sir, here's your suit," The staff butted in.

Iyon ang suit na ipinagawa niya para sa kasal. And I'm here to accompany him.

"Go on, I'll wait here in the couch," I said encouraging him dahil mukang wala siyang balak suotin iyon.

Pumasok siya sa fitting room para isukat ang suit. While I'm patiently sitting here, waiting for all of these to be done.

The other staff offered snacks but I refuse to eat. I can't even afford to drink right now, I'm so nervous.

Finally the curtains opened revealing him, looking so dashing on that black suit. Ang gwapo naman ng groom. I smiled, trying my best not to shed a single tear. I stood up and walk towards him. Pinadausdos ko ang kamay ko mula sa balikat niya hanggang sa braso habang tinitingnan ang kabuuan niya.

"It suits you.... I'm sure that she will like it too," I said while looking directly on his eyes.

Then slowly, tears pooled in his begging eyes. That's my cue. I turn around and quickly wiped my cheeks as the tears started to roll down my face.

I felt him hugged me from behind and the whole room went silent. Tanging ang mahihinang hikbi galing sa aming dalawa ang maririnig. Siguro ay nagtataka ang mga staff kung bakit ganito kami. Ang akala kasi nila ay kami ang ikakasal.

"Please... please," He chanted continously.

He's crying and begging. Kung dati ay hindi ko siya matitiis ngayon ay kailangan ko siyang tiisin. Hindi na mababali ang desisyon ko. Kahit ano pang gawin niya.

I'm crying heavily too and I can't hardly breath. Hindi ko alam kung dahil sa higpit ng yakap niya o dahil sa labis na pag-iyak. Akala ko pa naman ay tapos na akong umiyak, pero heto at nakita ko lang siyang miserable ay hindi ko na mapigil ang sarili na masaktan. Ako ang biktima dito pero ako pa ang nagmumukang masama.

Marahas kong tinanggal ang pagkakayakap niya. Humarap ako kahit na puno pa rin ng luha ang mukha. Napansin kong isa-isang lumabas ang mga staff. Siguro ay napansin nila na may problema kami at kailangan namin ng privacy.

"Hindi masusolusyunan ng pagtakbo ang problema na ito. At hindi pa rin ako sasama dahil mali na gawin yun," I said while wiping my own tears.

He was about to help me do it pero mabilis kong sinalag ang kamay niya.