Dice [h.s.]

30

a/n: listen to this is you want to experience sadness^^

-

TW: Suicide 

"The truth is, you learn a little more about yourself every time someone says good-bye." -r.m. drake

Harry's POV

I glanced around my car, rubbing my sweaty hands up and down my thighs. I wasn't ready to do this, I will never be ready. How can I be ready to kill her? She's one of my best friends, and I don't fucking throw that word around.

I can't believe I'm doing this sober. Usually when I'm killing, I make myself so numb to the point I don't know where I am. But I need to punish myself. I need to feel everything that comes along with doing this.

I grasped the handle on the car door, running my thumb along the cold metal. It felt like ice under my steaming skin. I didn't want to open this door, but I have to. I fucking have to.

Without another thought, I pulled the handle and opened the car door. I stepped out quickly, slamming it behind me and facing the building once more. I had made it out of the car. One of many more obstacles to come.

I took a step forward, a wobbly step but a step. Then another. Then another. Then another. I kept taking elongated steps until I reached the front doors of the building.

This was it, I was going to do it

I looked down at the shiny gold door knob. It was rusting but still looked beautiful in a specialized c-shape. There was tiny birds embedded at the top and bottom.

I took the gold in my hand pulling on it to reveal the pitch black space. Zero lights were on except for a few candles. I took a long deep breath before stepping into the hot room.

Immediately I turned towards the elevators that were barely visible from the lack of light. I clicked the up button, making the doors shoot open to reveal a much more lit up area.

I stepped into the box, looking around at the half length mirrors staring back at me. Everywhere I looked I saw myself, a puffy eye mess of a man who's about to kill someone who doesn't deserve to die in my hands.

I wiped my eyes with the balls of my hands and pressed the penthouse button. It automatically took off, sending me up and to the apartment in no time. I didn't even have time to blink as the doors opened to reveal her apartment.

It was a dimly lit place. There was much lack of color. She had black everything. Black leather couches and chairs, black table and chairs, black appliances and cabinets. The walls were even black and white striped.

I stepped onto the cold hardwood floor, hearing my feet tap against the hollow slabs below me. I looked head on to her living room, realizing the fire was on.

The fireplace roared as the tv above it was completely turned off. There was a glass cup sitting beside an open whiskey bottle. Then, beside that, was a black spin chair.

It was facing the fire, making me unable to know if someone was here. But then, I saw her hand. Ryleigh grabbed the open whiskey bottle, poured some into a different empty cup, and put it back.

The elevator doors slammed shut behind me, causing me to flinch and move more into the apartment. The leather chair slightly move in front of me to reveal her heels.

"Hello Harry." Ryleigh spoke up with a slight rasp to her voice. She's been crying, I can hear it.

"Why didn't you run." I get straight to the point, clenching my jaw and balling my fists at my sides.