Dice [h.s.]

55

"I'd be his, if he asked." -Unknown

-

The morning sun of New York beamed against my freshly woken skin. The feeling of warmth coated my lips as I smiled. My eyes slowly opened just to be frightened by the shining sun.

I quickly turned over, putting my back against the window. Opening my eyes slightly, I caught a glimpse of Harry. He was asleep, weirdly. It must have been early. His chest moved up and down slowly while his eye slightly twitched. He took most of the blanket, leaving me with barely anything. I didn't mind though, the house was hot.

I turned back over to the window and rolled off the bed, landing on my feet. I ran my fingers through my curly, damp hair. I walked around the bed and entered the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind me.

The bathroom was modern with white walls and white tiles. It had splashes of grey but over all, everything was white. I moved in front of the big mirror above the sink and looked at my reflection. I was breaking out slightly, probably from the stress.

I turned the faucet on and ducked my head down. I scooped up water with my two hands and pressed it to my face. The burning pain of my hand withheld my ability to relax. I quickly released the water and shook the pain out of my hand. I should have never taken it out of that brace.

I took the towel hanging on the wall and dabbed my face dry before looking back in the mirror. My usual ocean blue eyes were darker than usual, kind of like a storm cloud. My smile was gone as all I felt was exhaustion. It's so hard to keep up the okay act. Especially when you're not.

I picked up my toothbrush and placed toothpaste on it. I began to brush my teeth, keeping eye contact with myself. Something I always loved about me was my confidence. I always loved me, no matter what. But right now, I don't love the person I'm looking back at in the mirror.

This person isn't Kennedy Monroe. The girl who always has a smile on her face, who doesn't murder people, who doesn't sleep around with a practical gang lord. I'm some alter ego who made its way out into the world. What the hell happened?

I spit the toothpaste out and rinsed my mouth out with the faucet. I put the toothbrush back before giving myself one more once over. I haven't eaten a full meal in a few days, I looked so skinny. I needed to eat.

I left the bathroom and looked at Harry. He was still asleep, his face now facing the bathroom. I walked past him and walked over to my bag of clothes. I pulled out one of my old "conservative" dresses I'd wear for gatherings or family affairs.

It was a short black dress that was flowy in the skirt area. It reminded me of a skater girl dress. The neckline was a straight line above my breast, not revealing anything. I put on a new bra and underwear before putting deodorant on and pulling the dress over my body.

I looked in the full body mirror in the corner of the room. I looked like a little girl. I shrugged and opened the bedroom door. I walked down the hallway and down the stairs to the kitchen where my phone sat on the charger.

I didn't have any new messages, which was a bonus. I reached into the fridge and grabbed a water bottle and a piece of bread from the loaf Dominic dropped off yesterday. I sat down at the corner and began to eat the singular piece of bread.

It felt good to have food in my stomach. I kind of forgot the feeling. As I ate the bread, I remembered what my plan was for today. I wanted to go back to my house and try and salvage the plants. I doubt there's anything left of them but I can try.

My mom and I cherished that garden. Once my dad allowed me to go in, I was helping her every chance I got. It was usually only for the spring and summer, but it meant the world to me to be able to help her.