Jenny-Elijah Mikaelson

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   Everything became a blur.

Elijah remembered some moments and forgot others as they were filled with the same: overwhelming grief and despair. He was filled with so much pain but he made sure he buried Jenny like he thought maybe she wanted.

He had Jenny's dead remains buried next to her parents in Mystic Falls. He thought he stood in front of that grave for centuries just staring at the ground where she was buried, where his heart that she had taken still remained with her. He couldn't be sure how much time passed and he didn't care.

He didn't say anything as he stood staring at the ground. Words had escaped him and he was left with raw feeling. Every single horrible gloomy emotion took a hold of him and he was frozen where he stood.

That was a month ago.

He couldn't remember why he left her buried remains. He remembered his legs carried him away, but he didn't remember ever asking them to move. They moved of their own accord. It seemed his body had a mind of its own now while his own mind was stuck in the past.

The whole month after her death was the biggest blur. He could recall that there were many dead bodies left in his wake. He remembered his last kill with striking clarity. The man, the human, who ordered the striking down of a whole crowd of people that included his beloved Jenny.

Maybe his mind sought revenge because he thought it would make him feel better. But after that last kill, after his agenda was done, he felt the emptiest he had ever felt; because no matter how many people he killed in revenge, it did not bring Jenny back.

He hadn't cried once since Jenny died, but that day before he washed the blood of his sins away, sobs left his lips and tears mixed with blood. The emptiness he felt was replaced with pain and longing. The emotions he kept buried engulfed him.

Every single memory he had of her beautiful smile filled his mind and he couldn't get her out of his head. He thought he knew what losing someone felt like and he did, losing other people felt like part of the world just ripped away; but losing her was like his world and his heart cracked, and he was left with a void of bitterness.

Thinking of her in that moment his heart cracked a little more and it was too much. How much he missed her was unbearable. Elijah didn't know how to go on and he didn't want to. He wished someone would drive the white oak stake through his heart.

______

    It was only a month after her death that Katherine came to him. He had completely forgotten that he wanted the cure at one point. The ache for what he will never have echoed in his mind and he closed his eyes for a moment.

    "Come on, Elijah. I thought you wanted the cure for that little girlfriend of yours? What's her name...." Katherine twirled a piece of hair. "...Jenny."

   "Do not ever make the mistake of mentioning her again or this arrangement will be over. Do you understand?" Elijah had a cold look in his eyes as he looked at her that made her very afraid.

   Katherine covered it up with a smirk, "Yes, Elijah, I understand."

    Elijah looked away and put his hands in pockets, "Good. You'll hear from me tomorrow."

  And he left leaving Katherine to wonder what this little human Jenny did to Elijah Mikaelson.

Elijah never told anyone that she died. Just mentioning her name was too unbearable.

    _______

   Elijah and Katherine worked together to find the cure for a little while. In that time, she never mentioned Jenny but she did attempt many times to flirt with Elijah. All her attempts were futile. Elijah rebuffed her with bitterness.

Grief is not a stage or a process. It's a feeling and it was slowly tearing him apart. He felt like he was slowly dying. Day by day a piece of himself left and never returned.

          Elijah held a black void in his chest and it hurt. It was so unbearable and he started to think he could distract himself from the pain. So he stopped rebuffing Katherine and let himself get lost in her.

             But it didn't work. The pain was still there. The crack in his heart was still an open wound. And he didn't want it to close. Because healing meant moving on and there was no moving on for him. Ever.

         Jenny was his forever even if she was dead.

AN: guys we will get through this. Jenny's death was always the plan so it'll be alright. Entrust the plan.