A Journey Past Our Solar System is mostly confessional poetry of my life in the few last years, structures of a dysfunctional family, in the middle of dealing with mental illness. A tragedy in the making of my brain turning into coal, ready to burn...
sudden anxiety that I've spent too much. Or something terrible is going to happen. But nothings happening. I'm not touching anything. I only sent my mum some money. The sum dropped to a new digit.
2 hours later, i thought again of it disappearing suddenly,
compulsively spending on things I don't need. Out of nowhere the moneys all gone. Gone gone gone gone gone! Head deep in debt again.
Just about to drown once again. Again again again again again!
But I'm still breathing, fine. Nothings happening.
Anything could happen. Fear is illuminating possibilities of addiction I don't and fear to see.
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