Cover by @scorflix
Family
Kidnapped at a young age, two girls are separated from their mafia family, their lives full of risks and flaws, which initiated the kidnapping. Brought up in the same household, the twins face very different environm...
I have always been a giver, warm and loving. Even as a child I never cried, seeking to make others happy. Often people sought me in times of trouble and I gave all I had – my whole heart and showered love upon them. By age nine adults leant on me, told me of their woes and I was their spark of light. Yet when my time to suffer came, when my world was a hurricane of ice, every light but one switched off. All but one offered a skinny love, shallow and brief, before finding a reason to excuse their flight. But maybe that's the way it had to be, one light to follow, no choice but to walk toward love and truth. Perhaps the road toward heaven feels like hell. Because I can tell you I never felt more empty in mind, body or soul, never so bereft of any comfort.
I have never felt so worthless or disposable, never so wretched and cold. For hours I would have no emotion, only an urge to move fast; then all at once I'd be on the floor, shaking with a grief that bled from my bones. Days became weeks and months, and in every single moment of every single day my soul asked God why I must still live. He said, "Because I love you, daughter, and you will do great things. So live, breathe, walk." Moments of emptiness still come like an ambush, yet in the company of a true friend a real smile can return, a real laugh, real warmth. I can't give much yet, I'm still too empty, but at least now I know who to give it to. I know who is safe.
I look over my shoulder and over to my twin sister. She was shaking, crying like a leaf on a breezy, chilly winter day. Curled up and Withered. My heart throbbed, I badly wanted to get up and go to her, I wanted to comfort her but I couldn't. I didn't have any more strength left, I was weak. After years of trying to hide it, I couldn't. She knows, the world knows and there is absolutely no hiding that.
So, here I was, lying on the hospital bed wondering what had become of me. What had become of the Alexandra who protected everyone around her without asking anything in return, taking all the hits and blows for her sister so she could live happily? But I guess everyone needs to feel loved, everyone needs to feel wanted, everyone needs to feel free and not pressured all the fûcking time.
My thoughts were broken by the door slamming open. My sister stopped crying, everyone was looking at me. Eight pairs of icy blue eyes, following my every move. I coughed awkwardly, I didn't like the attention on me. AT ALL!
Everyone looked the same to me, I faintly remember the doctor telling me some shit about Siblings. I thought I was imagining that, guess not. My mouth parted slowly, words forming on the tip of my tongue but not coming out. It was as if someone sealed my voice box shut. I clenched my eyes tightly, tears forming slowly. I couldn't let them drop, not now, not ever. I felt the oldest of the siblings come towards me. She crouched down in front of me and caressed my cheek softly before settling down on my bed.
She spoke softly, "You were the best, the finest, the one I could rely on no matter what. You were the one who understood the true value of sunshine, the worth of a hug and a kind word. You walked so tall even when they beat you down, there is nobody who ever did it better. Then you were gone, taken. You never gave yourself up, I'm glad that you didn't. I think that would have felt more like abandonment, but that leaves only one conclusion. My love, they stole your life to advance their own and stood on your bones as if they were gold, as if you meant them to have them.
Once they took your life you weren't there anymore, not in the still heart or closed eyes. Yet I find you every day, every moment I open my heart to feel. You are in what you love – sunshine and kindness. You always were love, and you still are. Always stay near. Stay in the warm rays every day that I live, then it is I that will come to you, bringing my love, always."
I looked at her, my eyes glossy, I felt something in that moment, something I haven't felt in a long time now... The feeling of Being Loved..
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