Always

08| nightmares and late night walks

TW: Abuse, language

8 years ago

A

LEXIS

I ran as fast as my little legs would carry me. I took a sharp turn and hid in the darkness, hoping he wouldn't follow me.

Carina was at camp. I told her I didn't want to go. I lied. He made me stay.

Just then, his hand came in front of my face and squeezed it. Really hard. I could already feel the metallic taste of blood inside my mouth.

I tried to get out of his grip. But it was tight. He picked me up and threw me onto the ground. Light shining in my eyes.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He kicked my already bruised stomach.

"I had to go to the grocery-"

"I don't fucking care." He pulled my hair and threw me around once more, my body crashing with the metal box, digging into my side, slashing it open.

"What the fuck did I tell you, huh?" His breath smelled of strong alcohol. I tried not to breathe it in. 

"To come home straight after work, make you dinner and pretend I don't exist," I replied. My voice, not rising.

"And what the fuck did you do?" He kicked my other side, causing me to dog into the metal box further.

"I- I didn't come straight home and I used your Money for food that we don't need." He breathed into my face.

"Correct. And now you're getting punished for it." He punched my face making blood come out and then proceeded to smash beer bottles onto me before turning and leaving.

When I was sure the door closed, I tried to pick myself up but the pain was too much. The glass shards dug painfully into my skin. The slash on my side that would surely need a stitch was burning due to the drops of alcohol on it.

Every single move felt like my skin was on fire. My old wounds added to the trauma. I picked my head enough to look at myself in the mirror in front of me.

All I saw was a broken girl. Far too shattered to be fixed again.

I'm never going to be enough. Never going to be strong. Never going to be fixed again.

With that last thought, I closed my eyes and succumbed to the darkness. Letting it pull me down into the abyss.

 
PRESENT DAY

I woke up in a cold sweat. Sitting up, I heaved. Breathe in, breathe out. I tried to follow this but I started shaking violently.

Need air.

I threw my covers aside and ran towards the door. Clumsily running on the stairs, all my eyes could see was the big window that led to the garden. Outside.

What I didn't see though is the coffee table. I crashed and fell painfully on my side. I saw a hand reach out to me. Maybe to help, but it never actually reached me. Another hand pulled it away from me.

I closed my eyes shut for a second. 

"Alex, Tesoro, you okay?" I opened my eyes to see Ace standing there with another man.

His body is well defined. His muscles are visible through his thin button-up. His face was perfect. Well-defined cheekbones, plump lips, perfect brows, and the softest looking hair that seem too real to be.