Say You Won't Let Go || Bill Weasley

Forty Eight: A Lovely Day

There was meant to be an important Order meeting the following day, in the early afternoon.

Despite having several hours until then, Isabelle woke up early to the sun shining brightly through the bedroom window. She rolled over to reach for Bill but realized that the other side of their bed was empty.

She got out of bed and made her way downstairs to find him in the kitchen, leaning on the counter and looking through the window at the waves crashing on the beach outside.

"Darling?" Isabelle said softly, placing her hand on his shoulder and looking out for what he could be looking at, which seemed to be nothing.

"Good morning," Bill said, turning to her with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"I told you, I'm perfectly fine," Isabelle said. "What are you thinking about?"

"How do you always know?"

"Because I know you, love," Isabelle said.

"I'm just thinking about you." Bill wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to his side as he gazed back out of the window.

"Really? What about me?" she asked.

Bill was quiet for a long moment, and when she looked up at him, he didn't return the gesture.

"If we hadn't been together, would you have gone with Percy?" Bill eventually asked.

This time Isabelle was silent to think about her answer. "I don't know, maybe. But I believed Harry, too, and I don't think I could walk out on him and Hermione and the rest of your family like that."

When Bill only nodded, Isabelle spoke again. "Where's this coming from?" she asked.

"Sometimes I feel like it would have been safer if you had gone with him," he said quietly.

"How would that be any safer?"

"Because you wouldn't have joined the Order or the whole Dumbledore's Army thing that got you fired, and at the Department of Mysteries you-"

"Bill, stop it," Isabelle said. "I joined the Order and the D.A. because I wanted to at least try to be helpful. I knew the risks that came with both. I'm perfectly fine now, and I have my job back, so I wish you would just believe that I can handle myself."

"I do believe that, Iz," Bill looked down at her. "It's just, I've never hated anything more than seeing you laying there in the hospital like that. I was so mad at myself for not being there to avoid it happening."

"Bill..." Isabelle said, wrapping her arms around his middle gently. "I appreciate how much you care, I really do, but you shouldn't beat yourself up over something you couldn't control like that."

"I know," he said.

They watched the waves through the window for a few minutes, standing there in the otherwise silent kitchen.

"What did it feel like?" Bill asked after a while.

"I don't really remember, honestly. They say that when it's cast the way it's meant to be, it can be so bad that you wish you were dead just so it would stop. I guess that part was always true."

"Oh, Iz..."

"It wasn't for long, though," Isabelle said. "Once it stopped, everything just sort of ached, like my muscles were sore."

"You could hardly stay on your feet when we found you," Bill remembered.

Isabelle nodded. "I just remember wanting to go to sleep so badly, and I guess I did," she added with a small laugh.