His Little Play Thing

A date With Destiny

"So tell me something real" Jimin says, his full attention on you as you walk the pathway through the woods, leaves crunch under your shoes as you go and birds singing their songs. It's a beautiful day to be outside. You're actually grateful Jimin came up with the idea of walking. You love the outdoors so you're in your element right now.

"Something real?" You suppose the question threw you off.

He smiles,"Yeah about you. Your life,your interests, stuff like that"

"Oh um. Well"

You stumble over your words. You never were good at talking about yourself. "I'm 18, I love all things cars, I enjoy reading, and drawing. My favorite colors are red and black. Basically I'm more a guy just in a girls body"

He laughs and turns his head up to the canopy of trees swaying in the light breeze above your head. When he looks back down at you there's a dark almost stormy glint in his eyes.

"What do you fear the most?" He asks, his tone is like that of the edge of a sharp knife. It cuts through to you in a peculiar way.

"Fear?" You ask. What an odd question.

"Yeah" he replies," I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours"

You ponder over the question for a few long moments and when he believes you don't plan to answer him you finally speak having found a relevant fear. "I guess being alone. I'm afraid that everyone I know is going to leave me at some point and I'll be left to deal with this world on my own. I couldn't handle it and would more than likely not be here today"

"You couldn't live alone?" He asks, sounding genuinely curious.

"No I don't think I could. I have some... Well problems that I deal with. If left to my own devices I'm not really sure how I would cope"

You aren't sure why you're opening up to him this much but you feel somewhat comfortable bringing the topic up. Something that for you, is a huge deal considering you don't talk about that with anyone other than your two girlfriends.

"If you don't mind me asking, what kind of problems? I'm going to assume it has to do with those scars?" His voice is quiet somewhat that of a passive childs. He must realize how sensitive of a subject this is for you.

Somehow you knew that was going to be his next answer. So you tell him.

"I have depression and anxiety. Most days its okay. I don't always struggle with it. But there are some days that I can't even will myself out of bed in the morning. It leaves me in a really really dark place some episodes are so bad that I black out and can't remember what happened once its all over. Some days my only release from the pain is through... The scars on my thighs"

"I won't pretend to understand because I don't. But just know that you're so much more than what your thoughts tell you"

You smile up at him,taking a moment to admire his chocolate eyes.

"So what's your fear?"

His face falls slightly, having forgotten that he told you he would tell you his.

"Rejection"

Now that was not something that you expected.

"Oh, I'm sorry"

"Don't be. I'd rather not talk about it, if that's okay" you could tell from his voice that it wasn't up for discussion. While you'd like to know why, he can tell you if or when he's ready to. Although you do feel a small pang of hurt from him not trusting you enough to tell you, when you confided in him so easily.