Promise

Chapter 11

It was becoming harder and harder to hide it, the public attenion was growing as the final loomed closer. I never knew how stressful doing the show could be before this, and how tiring it could be too.

There could be days on end where I don't get to see Ricky at all then I could get three or four days in a row where I did. It was even harder when we had to avoid each other delibrately in public just in case the press suspected something.

There has been so many times where I thought about quitting the show because of all the pressure and stress it causes. I was convinced by Kylie and Ricky that quitting it all together would be a bad idea because then people will think that there was something going on behind the scenes and it would be better if I stayed, so I did.

I stayed and pretended that everything was normal. It wasn't, of course. My life is anything but normal now. It was largely due to my descisions and actions. If I didn't originally apply to go on the show, I wouldn't have gotten through to the auditions and I wouldn't have met Ricky, my life would be normal if I didn't do any of those things. But I did, and I started to regret it big time.

The pressure and stress was beginning to get to the both of us. We were arguing over things that didn't even matter. We making a big deal over nothing. The arguing did really upset me, even if I didn't let it show at the time.

I can't count the amount of times that I went to bed upset because we had an arguement an hour before. The amount of times Kylie said 'I told you so' when I come into rehearals isn't helping much either. She always seems to know exactly what has happened the night before, even though me and Ricky would never dream of telling her what has happened. Before I even have a chance to walk through the door she knew what had happened.

I don't know how much more I can take of this before I finally snap. All I really know is that I can't handle it on my own. Its all becoming too much. I'm worried that the press will find out about it, and it will be my fault.