Promise

Chapter 5

I kept quiet for as long as I could during rehearsals the next day. No one noticed a difference, Kylie asked if I was okay once though,  I lied and said I was fine. She believed me and didn't ask again. It's scary how many people are fooled by a smile.

I wore long sleeves to hide what I done to myself the night before. I felt bad about it now, I always do. I always say I'm going to stop doing it, but always find myself going back to it at some point.  I felt like a failure.

The rehearsal was over and I bolted for the door, I needed to be by myself for a while. I felt so panicky and anxious about it that the only thing I could was lock myself away for the rest of the day.

Being my typical clumsy self I wasn't looking where I was going and crashed into someone. The next thing I knew I was on the floor.

"I'm so sorry" I said quickly.

"Are you okay?" A worried sounding Ricky came from above me. I looked up at him for a second then back down at the floor. I thought about telling him about what I did for some reason, there was a feeling inside of me that wanted to, but I didn't have the courage.

"I'm...I'm fine" I stuttered as he helped me up. "Thanks" I smiled at him, hoping that he would let go of my hand so I can catch my bus and go home.

He smiled at me also but the smile disappeared as soon as he went to let go of my hand. He gripped my arm, "what are these?" The worried tone in his voice returned.

I knew exactly what he was on about instantly, there was no need for me to look down. I was freaking out inside, even more than I was before.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, pretending to have no idea what he was going on about. 

"The cuts on your wrist Jess." Ricky pulled up my sleeve to reveal more scars, some were fading and some were still prominent.  Ricky took my other arm and did the same thing.

He looked at both of my wrists in shock. He was just standing there looking at them for quite a while, it was like he was frozen. He looked up and met my gaze, and it was that moment where I realised that I wasn't going to hear the end of it for a long time.