Safe Haven- Lee Jooheon ft. Im Changkyun

Chapter 4

Song: Monster-Henry

Chapter 4

I've been sitting on the couch chewing on my bottom lip and watching the time tick by for hours now. It's currently 4:54pm and as the minutes go by, I am becoming more and more nervous. I text a quick message to I.M telling him I was fine, wiping my sweating hands on my dress. I know it's a complete lie but the last thing I want is for him to show up and cause more problems. I want this meeting to go over smoothly. I get drifted away from my thoughts as the doorbell goes off.

I get up from the couch and slowly head to the door with a sigh. "I can do this..."I mutter to myself before lifting a shaky hand up to the door handle. I stare at the floor as I open the door, not mentally prepared to look at him.

"Hey..." he mutters.

I force myself to look up. My breath catches and I swallow hard. My eyes roam all over his face, grazing over his features that I've once adored. Nothing has changed. He still looks the same. His aura still feels the same, somehow bringing me comfort. He still felt familiar, felt like home. I will myself to focus, opening the door completely.

"Come in..." I gesture to him, ignoring the awkwardness of the situation.

I watch his back as he steps inside, immediately heading to the living room. It's almost as if he still belongs here, like he never left. My heart starts to ache as I follow him in, taking a seat in front of him.

"Do you want anything to drink or eat?" I ask him politely, breaking the tension.

He stares at me and whispers, "I'd love some coffee if you don't mind."

I get up and head to the kitchen, making his regular Americano. I hand it to him as I watch him take a sip, humming in approval.

"You still make the best coffee you know?" he states.

I sit back down while clearing my throat, placing the paperwork in front him, "Let's just get this over with."

I watch as he opens the folder, going over the paperwork. I take a minute to memorize his features once again, something I never got the chance to do when he left the first time. I sigh inwardly knowing that this will be the last time I lay my eyes on him. My heart clenches at the thought, after all this time, the pain hasn't subsided.

He stares at the paperwork for a few more minutes as I sigh impatiently. I definitely did not expect his next move, my jaw dropping in shock as I watched him rip all the paperwork in pieces.

"W-what the fuck are you doing Jooheon?!" I stutter, trying to make sense of what was happening.

"I'm not signing anything. This house is also my home. I won't let it go," he deadpans while looking me in the eyes.

"It stopped becoming your home when you left! What gives you the right?!" I get up running my fingers through my hair aggressively, my frustration becoming evident.

I start pacing back and forth trying to calm my breathing when he grabs my wrist, my skin feeling as though it's been burned. He can't have this effect on me anymore, he broke my heart, he was the one who left. He was the one who gave it all up for another woman.

I stare at the hand wrapped around my wrist in disgust, looking him in the eyes as I whispered, "Why?"

He gulps and my heart clenches even more as he catches my tears with his thumb, caressing my cheeks gently.

"I thought I could let you go but I can't. It's the biggest mistake I have ever made. I don't deserve you. I never deserved you. Y-you were perfect Y/N and I fucked up so badly. I can't ever apologize enough for putting you through all that pain. We created this home together and I can't find it in me to let it go. I can't let you go. I'm so sorry," his voice breaks, tears starting to flow down his face.

"No... breaking my heart once is enough don't you think Jooheon? You think you can just walk in here and say all these things and i would forgive you in a drop of a hat? You ruined my life. I suffered because of you. You don't even live here anymore so why don't you just sign the papers and we can both be free. You can go back to her and build a new home with her," I spit bitterly, watching his face contort in pain.

"I didn't stay with her. I left her the day after I left you. I couldn't look at her, I couldn't even look at myself knowing I did that to you. I got caught in her spell Y/N, I wasn't myself. It's no excuse, you never deserved any of it. You were so perfect that I felt as though I was never enough. And I was right because look at what I've done. You're my home, this is my home because it's where you are. I love you Y/N, i love you so much that I wanted to die after all that I've caused you. I want to apologize, I don't deserve your forgiveness and you don't have to give it to me but I want to apologize properly," he cries while getting on his knees in front of me.

My heart pounds loudly in my chest as I watch him.

What the fuck do I do now...