Danganronpa: Painful Truth

Friends?

Kokichi joined us moments later, carrying a bowl of chips in one arm. He smirked at us, ignoring Akane completely. "Oh heeeey~! I see all my bestest friends made it to my party! I'm so touched, I could cry!" The sobs that shook his shoulders were exaggerated and theatrical, but looking closely, I noticed his eyes were damp with actual tears.

To my surprise, it was Maki who replied first. "Knock it off already," she scolded him. "It wouldn't kill you to say something sincere before you start lying."

"Huh?" Kokichi frowned at her. "What, are you my mom now?"

"Just an observation," she replied shortly.

"The assassin's got a point," Shigeri commented. "You're all warm and fuzzy inside, everyone can tell."

"I'm not an assassin," Maki insisted.

"Ugh," Kokichi sighed. His carefree mask dissolved at once, leaving him looking suddenly exhausted. "Whatever. I don't know why you guys are here but I guess it's fine." His voice had become blank and weak, as though his fabricated enthusiasm had drained his energy.

"We're here because we're your friends, of course!" Kaito grinned confidently.

Kokichi raised an eyebrow. "None of you have passed your initiation yet. Only Gonta is worthy of being friends with the Ultimate Supreme Leader!"

"I thought a Supreme Leader didn't need friends?" Maki retorted.

"See?" he snapped. "If you were my friends, you'd have known that was a lie."

I continued to watch him closely, using all the skills I had been practicing over the past week. As impossible as it had seemed at first, Kokichi actually wasn't too difficult to read, as long as I remembered what to look for. There was only one aspect of his behavior that still didn't make any sense to me. "You're right, Kokichi," I agreed. "But seeing through someone's lies takes practice. How are we supposed to practice if you keep avoiding us?"

"Ooooh," Shigeri snickered. "Un-sherlock over here askin' the real questions all of a sudden."

I grimaced at them. I couldn't decide whether to be offended or disappointed. "...Un-sherlock?"

They shrugged. "It was funnier in my head. Let it go."

"But seriously! That is a good question!" Kaito insisted. "You can't make friends by bein' this stubborn, ya know!"

"You, calling me stubborn?" Kokichi scoffed. "That's a good one, Kaito!"

"What's the point?" Maki grumbled. "We're not gonna make any progress until he stops deflecting everything."

"Jeez," Shigeri yawned and rolled their eyes. "You guys know what the easiest solution is, right?" They paused for dramatic effect, smirking at our expectant faces. "Just join the gang already."

"Huh?" It wasn't quite what I'd been expecting to hear. "What do you mean?"

"A detective, an astronaut, and an ex-assassin? Sounds like you assholes could be pretty useful." They elbowed Kokichi in the ribs. "Ain't that right, Boss?"

"Hmm..." He frowned in annoyance, but I could detect a subtle excitement underneath that he was trying hard to conceal. "I guess we could start planning something..." He gave us a sinister grin. "But don't think it'll be easy or fun for any of you."

"What he means is, it's gonna be fuckin' awesome," Shigeri explained. "Gonta's initiation was great. Astro Boy remembers," they added, smirking lazily.

Kaito turned pale at the memory. "Hell no! I ain't goin' anywhere near that damn graveyard ever again!"

"Graveyard?" Maki repeated with a smirk. She suddenly seemed much more interested in the conversation.

"Yeah, for Gonta's initiation, he got to help us make Kaito cry," Kokichi explained casually. "It was pretty fun! Nee-hee-hee!"

"I DIDN'T CRY!" Kaito shouted, loudly enough to startle several other guests. "I haven't cried since I was born!"

"That sounds like a lie," Maki observed. I couldn't help but silently agree.

"But we can't just screw with Kaito every time, that's boring," Shigeri reasoned. "We gotta think up somethin' fresh for these guys."

The longer we spent discussing pranks, the more obvious Kokichi's excitement became. "We could put the hottest hot sauce in all of Miu's soap!" His purple eyes sparkled at the thought.

"Miu is too easy of a target," Maki disagreed, shaking her head. "We could just tell her she's getting fat or something and she'd probably start crying."

"What about gettin' Yuri and Gonta to help us put cockroaches in Shigeri's bed?" Kaito suggested with a mischievous grin.

"Just try it, asshole, I'll fuck you up." They laughed lazily. "Good thing pranks only work when you keep 'em secret."

"You sure about that?" Kaito chuckled, giving them a smug wink. "Now every time you go to bed you're gonna have to wonder if I was serious or not!"

"Yeah right, like you'd have the balls for that," they scoffed, although they were beginning to look mildly concerned. "But seriously, no bugs in my room. They'll love the mess and then they won't leave."

"Hmm..." I glanced over to where Himiko was still busy delivering her pseudoscientific lecture. "I wonder if we could convince Yoshi that Himiko can actually use real magic," I mused. "He seems to be a fairly superstitious person, so it might be possible."

"Ya know, I bet we could," Shigeri nodded thoughtfully. "Sounds pretty hilarious. Whaddya think, Boss?"

Kokichi didn't reply. He was busy staring at us with poorly disguised shock. He clearly hadn't expected any of us to be so receptive to the idea of playing tricks on the others. The fact that any of us had managed to come up with ideas of our own had likely caught him completely off-guard.

Shigeri eyed him with a knowing look. "What's wrong, Birthday Bitch?" they asked innocently. "You scared that these chumps are gonna make you look bad?"

The taunting seemed to jolt Kokichi back to his senses. His wide grin returned immediately. "Yeah, right!" he giggled. "But I guess you three aren't quite as boring as I thought! Maybe this could be fun after all!"

"Wow, look at that." Their voice was dripping with sarcasm. "It's almost like I was right the whole time, again. Wild."

"Nope!" Kokichi shook his head cheerfully. "You know the drill! You're wrong by default, until proven otherwise!"

"Jeez," Shigeri lamented. "There'd be no drama in the world if everyone just listened to me. Everyone would be so much happier. I should write a book."

"Wouldn't that require hard work and motivation?" Maki interjected calmly, without missing a beat. "From what I've heard, you might manage to write a page before stopping for a nap."

Kaito and I burst out laughing simultaneously. Kokichi's expression of pure confusion made the situation even more amusing. We were all surprised by Maki's sudden participation in the friendly banter, but Kokichi seemed completely astounded by her attempt to join in.

"Damn, that's harsh." Shigeri grinned proudly, as though she had given them a glowing compliment. "You ain't even wrong, though."