Petal [h.s.]

Chapter 10

Violet.

I sighed when Ian once again didn't really answer my question. He'd been out of it all day, very absent in any conversation we tried to have with him. 

I was working the afternoon shift with my boss, Victor. One of the regular social workers had taken ill so he jumped in to help me control the group of kids for the afternoon and evening. It was a Tuesday again, meaning this evening most of the kids would have visitors and it would be quite calm for Victor and I. 

He hadn't really worked down here in quite a while. Ever since he got promoted, he was always up in his office and didn't do the regular social work with kids anymore. He actually hardly knew them, and more important, they didn't know him.

I had noticed Ian's behaviour a few hours before, as he was so quiet and back in his shell. It was different to how he had been the first few days when he was going through withdrawal. I sensed he felt bored here, didn't really connect to any of the boys and his mind was going to drugs time and time again. 

They didn't really get anywhere with him during therapy, he was just super closed off and slightly arrogant. Since I was his personal social worker and I had to keep an eye on his program, I decided to have a chat with him. After all, it seemed like he trusted me most.

"We're not angry with you or anything, it just seems like... you don't feel comfortable with any of us. And it's keeping you from letting us in and we can't help you. I understand you've gotten basically nowhere with Rebecca, while you've been here over a week now."

Ian shrugged and kept bobbing his knee up and down in a steady pace. He didn't seem nervous, it was just something he did often. He had gotten a bit more colour back in his face when the worst of his withdrawal had passed, and he had gained a bit of weight now that his appetite returned. 

I could really see more of Louis in him each day.

"I don't like Rebecca." He mumbled.

"Why not?"

He shrugged again. "Don't know. Can I not get another therapist?"

"If you really want someone else, we can switch Rebecca for Jamie maybe?" I narrowed my eyes to see if that would be something he'd like. Maybe him and Rebecca just didn't vibe. Everyone here had another method of approaching the kids, and it worked for some and not for others. It wouldn't be the first time we switched out caregivers to benefit the program of the kid.

He still kept his eyes down but nodded slightly, one hand reached up to his neck to scratch the back. "I just feel like I don't really know any of you. How am I supposed to... get better and shit when the people who want to help me are strangers?"

I understood where he was coming from. Some kids needed more time to bond, other's didn't really care if they knew their social workers or caregivers. Most of them felt like this was temporary and they didn't want to build up any connections, because then there's bonding, attachment, guilt and the feeling of missing when they get to leave. ù

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

Ian's eyes lit up slightly at my question and I frowned. "You know you can always ask us anything, right? Some might not want to answer, but that's okay. You can just try and see where it gets you." I urged him on a bit to get out of his shell. 

None of us would ever get mad at him for asking a question, depending on how personal it was obviously. There were social workers who were really open about their private life, but everyone's boundaries were somewhere else. Maybe that's what he struggled with. 

The problem with the RSP is that not all the social workers were on the same line about which treatment worked best. That's why we might be contradictory sometimes, which in return is confusing for the residents. Whenever I worked with Victor, I made sure not to step a toe out of line though. He was quite severe and honestly scared me as much as he scared the kids.