Petal [h.s.]

Chapter 71

TW: mentions of self-harm (non-graphic) and body dysmorphia

Violet.

"You what?!" Victor's voice boomed through his office as he got up from his seated position and slammed his palm down on his desk.

I flinched in the chair opposite him and bit my lip, looking down in shame and nodding slowly.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Violet!" He groaned, and I widened my eyes upon hearing him swear. It was unlike him. I let out a shaky breath as I felt the itching in my wrist, trying to ignore it for now.

It was quiet in the office, the tension heavy as I sat with hunched shoulders.

"How long has this been going on?" He asked as he paced back and forth, arms crossed in front of his chest.

I let out a breath, "Since before Ian was a resident. But it got serious around the barbecue thing."

"Ian knows?"

I nodded in confirmation, "Ian knows."

Victor rubbed his palms over his face as he let out another groan, not believing that I was telling him this. "Have you been seeing Ian on his weekends?"

I parted my lips but closed them again, refusing to actually say it. I felt so stupid.

"For fuck's sake." Victor hissed, taking my silence as a yes, "So you're dating an addict? What the hell?"

I knew Victor was confused. I had known him for a long time, being colleagues since my first day here. We were quite close when both of us were social workers, before he got promoted to an office job upstairs. Victor had seen me through some of my personal issues in the past, such as dating. He knew my stance on having a relationship with an addict, which is why this was all the more surprising to him.

"He was sober for a while. And we're broken up now." I answered softly.

"So why are you telling me this today?" He sat down in his chair again, tapping his foot impatiently.

"You've noticed how absent I've been lately, right? Over the last few months?"

He nodded slowly, "You've taken more sick days and vacation days than ever. You usually never miss a day."

"I know. It all ties together, I swear. But right now, I'm in no fit state to work. Some stuff has happened in my... personal life," I sighed as I shook my head, "I don't want to give details, but I can't do this job right now."

"I'm not bloody allowing you to do this job right now!" He snapped, "I should fire you on the spot!"

I tensed my shoulders and held my breath. I knew he would say that. He was right too. I kept my mouth shut as I watched him carefully. His entire body was tense with stress and frustration from one of his social workers being in this much shit.

It reflected badly on the RSP that I had personal relations with the family member of a resident, and that that resident was more of a brother and friend to me nowadays. I was in no way acting professionally towards Ian, and it clouded my judgement about him.

My relationship with Harry had made me miss so much work that I had been absent from the RSP quite a bit. From letting him sober up in my apartment to spending a week at the mansion after being strangled, to being kidnapped and again missing over a week of work.

I hardly knew what anyone had been up to, and I couldn't provide them with the care they so desperately needed if I was this hazy and distracted all the time.