Petal [h.s.]

Chapter 70

TW: mentions of self-harm (graphic) and body dysmorphia

Violet.

"Nana!!" Abby's voice was loud and shrill as she opened the front door of her house.

Her arm was supporting me as I wobbled next to her, trying to see straight as I was hyperventilating like a crazy person. I knew I was about to faint if I didn't calm down, but images and words from the evening were so prominent in my brain that it was all I could think about.

"Nana!" Abby yelled again, and after that, I heard stumbling down the stairs until her grandmother appeared. Nana was in her nightgown, her silver hair down in a braid and thick glasses on her nose. 

She gasped when she saw us, "Oh my Lord, Violet, darling, what happened?!" She urgently asked.

Abby instantly shook her head, "No time. Run a bath, get dry clothes for her, and get some tequila." She instructed, and Nana quickly nodded before running around the house.

My chapped lips were parted, short puffs of breath coming out as my chest felt tight and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I hadn't been able to breathe in a while.

Abby was saying things to me that I could hardly hear, and my vision was blurry as she lead me through the house that I knew so well. 

Abby had driven recklessly to get me here, all the while crying and insulting Harry under her breath as I sat slouched in the passenger seat.

It was nearing midnight now, and I dazedly watched Abby as she crouched down in front of me after having put me down on the couch. There was a half empty tequila bottle in her hands and she unscrewed the cap, offering me the bottle.

I quickly shook my head, "Going t-to-" I gasped sharply, "throw up." I quickly tried to explain. I pressed my hand against my chest, feeling the hammering of my heart through my skin and clothes as I rubbed down on it in an attempt to slow it down. 

My stomach had been empty all day, and the thought of food made me gag. I couldn't do it right now.

"Vi, you have to. Just some pain relief, just to calm down. Come on."

Abby had different coping mechanisms than I did. But since mine didn't seem to work, I decided to give hers a shot. I shakily grabbed the bottle from her hands and took multiple sips without thinking about it. The alcohol burned down my throat and my stomach as I greedily drank the tequila.

I wanted to be knocked out cold right now. I wanted to forget.

"The bath is ready. There's fresh clothes next to it. Violet, honey, I made up the spare bedroom for you." Nana spoke from the top of the stairs.

"She's staying with me tonight." Abby quickly butted in, not allowing me to answer. She hoisted me up by my elbows and helped me up the stairs. I was like a rag doll in her arms, only holding on to the tequila as she lead me into the bathroom.

She made me sit down on the toilet lid and crouched down again, "I'm going to undress you now, okay?"

I tensed up visibly and quickly shook my head, "N-No, no bath."

Abby frowned, "No bath? Vi, you need to calm down or you're going to give yourself a heart attack. Just let me take off your clothes."

I fought her hands on me and shook my head again, "Don't want to see myself." I explained with a weak voice and Abby froze.

"You... You don't want to see yourself without clothes?" She asked in confusion, and I nodded.

"Then how do you shower?"