Black Butterfly

Wake Up Call

That single tear was all I allowed myself to shed. I refused to live in self pity,and I refused to let him get to me again. As the saying goes fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me. I played the fool more than once and I can't do it again. I refused to be his victim and continue to be played like I'm some kind of game. I stood up with more determination to tell him to take his offer and stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

I walked swiftly over to the couch in the living room with my phone getting ready to call that no good slick chocolate lover and tell him to go straight to h-e-double hockey sticks. Before I could pull his number up Jas was calling my phone. I answered and the first thing I heard was,"are you ok." I gave her a snort,"I'm far from ok. In fact I'm so angry,weak,and heart broken that I can't think straight." She sighed,"I know sweetie,but Jas is here to make it all better." I laughed,"did you know that little bastard did just a few minutes ago." She giggled,"which one are you talking about." I shook my head,"the only bastard that I've been with." She sucked her teeth,"oh lord, where did he even come from. Have you been talking to him? I know you have because he wouldn't have had a reason to be grinding up on like that nor try to kiss you. You should have seen the look on Adam's face;hell did you see the look on my face. But he played it off cool you know. He laughed it off and I joined him. But I saw the pain in his eyes. It nearly broke my heart,and I know my touch wasn't the one he wanted on his arm"

I bit my lip and exhaled,"Josh came to my house basically telling me he wants to give us another try and that he's serious this time. He kissed me, and I'm not talking about a simple peck on the lips. I mean full out make out session with tongues. It felt so good Jas, to have him touching me and giving me the attention I've been craving for. I almost feel for it,but my phone brought me back to life and the reality of my situation. I don't know what to do. On one hand I really want to be with him, but on the other I know that he's toxic. I know that there is nothing but poison coming from those soft,sensual, and smooth lips. But I can't help it Jas. He's all that I know; the only guy I ever let get close enough to do damage. I'm broken without him but with him I'm no better. The thing is he's familiar, I don't have to try to build anything with him because we already have that. And no matter how anybody see him I know him. I know he's not a jerk nor insensitive. I know he's caring and funny. He's also one of the sweetest guy you'll ever meet."

There was silence on the phone and I almost thought she hung up until she made a weird noise. It sounded like a cross between a huff and a snort. She finally started to speak,"Abigale, for your sanity and emotional stability you have to let him go. You said it yourself that he's toxic and you're no better with him. He has you wrapped twisted and tied. He is playing you and you're eating it all up. He knows how when where and how to use you because you let him. You call him sweet I think he's sour because he toys with you. You think he's caring but I think he's selfish for not letting you go. He has you on the side and hides you just to use you. He's not ready to let you go,and every once in a while he has to come back and stake his claim. He knows you won't deny him because he won't let anyone else get close to you. Its time to rid yourself of that Vernon and spread your wings. There are bigger and better guys out there for you,like Adam. I love you Aby and I only want what's best for you and Josh isn't anywhere close to being it."

I wiped the tears from my face and let out a shaky breath,"you're right,its time to cut my ties and count my losses with Josh. He's my past and I need to leave him there." There were some shuffling then I heard her laugh at something,"now that we have that figured out, let's talk about you and Adam. I seen you two getting pretty close at the rink. He was practically holding you and if you didn't know any better he looked like he was kissing your neck. But I know you and you wouldn't have let that happen." I blushed and thank god she couldn't see it," I was trying to teach him how to skate and he was only talking to me. You know how hard it is to talk and skate." She giggled,"mhmm looked more like two love birds on a date. I think he likes you. I can tell from the way he looks at you and he came to see you on a Saturday. If that's not a statement I don't know what is." I blushed again and bit my lip,"he's just being friendly besides you were there and he told me he wanted to be friends." She kissed her teeth,"girl whatever I know for a fact that boy want him some you. He wants to swirl, dip is white stick into your dark chocolate cream and make the most beautiful color. He's down to get down between your thighs and work his way into your heart. He's feigning for him some Abigale and won't stop until he gets what he wants." This is girl is the most freakiest and craziest person I know. She is the only one that I know can make sex sound so nasty. I can only imagine the kind of husband she will have. Laughing at her silliness,"I doubt he wants to do anything with me. I gave him my number, and he promised to call me." She nearly blew my ears out screaming,"I knew he likes you. Watch I can guarantee by the end of the year you two will be the happiest most disgustingly in love couple to ever walk John Lewis High School."

I laughed and told her I had to go because I just heard someone walk in. "Ugh ok but promise to call me tomorrow and tell me all about the fascinating conversation with Adam." I laughed and told her ok. Just as I was hanging up my mom walked in with Chinese take out. She looked over at me,"I got take out and your brother isn't coming home and I'm going out again with your aunt so make sure you lock up." She started walking away and I jumped up going after her ,"where are you going? How long are you going to be gone? Don't bring a strange guy home." She ignored me, dropped the food off in the kitchen and went to her room to get ready for wherever.

She came back out almost an hour later and she had on a pair of white jeans with black open toe heels and a form fitting purple low crop shirt. She stopped by the living room where I was," I'm just going on this blind date your aunt set me up with. I should be home before midnight if it doesn't work out. I can bring whoever I want in my house where I pay bills and keep everything up so you can live comfortably. Make sure you lock up like I said." With that said she stormed out the door and left me there with a gaping mouth." Well excuse me then." I ate the rest of my food and started flipping through channels until my phone rang with a number that wasn't saved in my phone. It took me awhile to decide if I wanted to answer it,but I did. When I heard that deep masculine voice my body trembled and heated up. "Hello...hello...hello is anybody there." It was Irish and I couldn't find my voice to speak.