Trapped By Destiny

47| Secret diary

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Ashi's pov

He's gone.

I know this even before I open my eyes and face what has suddenly become a horrible day. We all have the basic senses right? Sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. While these five things continue to fail me on a daily basis, I've developed a new sense that has yet to disappoint.

When he's nearby there's a hum of electricity in the air. My nerves are on high alert and whether or not I choose to acknowledge it, a part of me knows that he's there.

Every single bit that I consist of is attuned to his presence. It gives you the kind of thrill you get when the rollercoaster suddenly dips. It's a feeling that can only be matched by free fall. And right now, I'm horribly attached to solid ground. 

I pat the space next to me, refusing to acknowledge something I already know.

He's not here.

He left.

He came brokenhearted and trashed out of his mind yesterday and slept with me in his arms and now he's gone. 

I roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling, blinking back tears. It's not hard to convince myself that I'm just being melodramatic. After all it's not like we are going to break up with these little arguments.

We just had a minor misunderstanding which needs to be cleared immediately. 

Or not.

The thought forces me out of bed thus preventing me from moping around all day, eating my favourite chocolate chip ice cream hesitantly, sitting on the kitchen counter.

The Ashi few months back would have no problem doing that since it was the norm for her. But after getting into fitness again, I decided not to look back. But it's too much for me to take in and the only thing that helps me from anxiety right now is the ice cream I craved for the last few months.

A sort of determination leads me through the process of getting ready for shoot.

I suddenly miss randeep so much that it's staggering. 

Not even bothering with breakfast, I fly down the stairs and rush outside our house. With all the problems I lost the sense of timing, and it's already nine in the morning. Which means past the time I should be in the set.

The one hour ride seems like eternity but I finally make it. Huffing and completely out of breath since I ran all the while, I stand before my make up room.

I have just enough time to put some minimal make up but that is not it. The character Yasmine has more to it which includes the perfect hairstyle with heavy make up. During yeh un dinon ki baat hai naina had no such thing and that makes a huge difference. But with time both characters become so close to my heart.

I'm just one step ahead from falling into anxiety and depression. Work is the only thing that keeps me going.

I came back exhausted into my room. And fell back on my bed, all the stunts and fight sequence made my body sore. I tried avoiding everyone's question when they asked me about the dark patch under my eye which I assume dark circles even after applying two layers of foundation??