Until Your Last Breath (Troyler)

Chapter Eight

Tyler POV 

Shock filled Troye's face when he saw my X-Rays as mine had. His jaw was dropped, blue eyes large in surprise. 

"I know this is a lot to take in, I'm dreadfully sorry. Tyler needs to have immediate surgery now, I'm not certain if he will survive the night but if he does, by a chance, he will not be able to walk as his spine is too damaged." The doctor who took my X-Ray had said. Why was he so calm about all this? I actually had a chance of dying yet he was talking about it like he was discussing the weather. Troye's eyes had started to fill with tears, his face slowly turning a sickly white, drops of sweat falling from his forehead. He glanced around the room, his eyes flitting over the doctors, to the X-Rays and finally resting on me.  

I opened my mouth to say something when Troye dashed off, sprinting out through the door. I tried to sit up when the quick action intensified my throbbing headache, sending a jolt to my stomach and back. I groaned loudly in reaction, my body not expecting the sharp pain. A blur of skin appeared in front of me, my eyes squinting as I tried to focus on it. I calmed a bit when I realised Zoe put a hand out in front of me. 

"Ty let him be, he just needs to let it all out." Her voice was pained; I could tell she was worried too. Although her voice was quiet, it still made my ears ring; none of my senses were really capable of anything. I sighed in answer, the small action sending an ache to my chest. I shut my eyes, trying to take my mind off the stabbing feeling that accompanied every breath I took, increasing when I made a movement.  

I didn't realise my bed was being moved when the light was suddenly blinding and seemingly became the light of a thousand suns. I raised an arm in front of my face, squeezing my eyes shut.  

"Tyler, we are going to put you into another room where you will undergo surgery, to try fix up a few things." I nodded my head, mentally stabbing myself for making a movement thus, hurting myself. 

I felt a small hand wrap around mine, the small gesture slightly reassuring me. The calm in me left, when I remembered that I might die in this operation. My eyes flew open, before shutting when the burning light hit them. Right, okay, I might die. My head hurt from thinking about it. The thought was so foreign to me; I almost couldn’t believe it.

My throat tightened when the thought of dying sunk in, it meant no family, no friends, no YouTube and no Troye. I couldn't leave them all behind, they all meant so much to me. My viewers, they gave me strength and they were there for me when no one was. I hope that if I died, they would remember the good times on my channel. And Troye, he was my everything, I solely depended on him. He was mine and I was his and that was how it was meant to be, I couldn't imagine it any other way. My head was in the clouds again, and I was completely oblivious to the tears that were now dripping down, stinging the cuts and scratches that adorned my face.  

From what my crappy vision could make out of, we were heading outside an elevator, now rushing down a new hall of different rooms. The butterflies in my stomach grew with every second passing, my palms sweating profusely.

 The room we ended up in was similar to the X-Ray room although it was a lot brighter and to me, it felt different, sadder and gloomy, knowing that this surgery was a matter of life or death. Although my headache was worsening, I could see that I joined up to machines with tubes, one of the nurses holding a needle. Needle? Where did that come from?

I shut my eyes, deciding not to look at anything or I’d feel more shit about myself, I only opened them when I heard the squeaking of converse against the floor and a shuffle of clothing. It took a second for my eyes to adjust to the lighting again, blinking furiously as I tried to see who stood in front of me. I was elated to see Troye standing with…Alfie. Where had Alfie gone? Did I miss something? 

Troye began to run towards me, my eyes scanning over his beautiful face as he neared. He was still very attractive, even in the state he was currently in, red eyes and messy hair.

"Troye, ha-ave you been c-cryi-" I was a bit startled when Troye pressed his lips against mine, pushing me into the bed slightly. It was only for a second though, as I eagerly returned the favour, fluttering my eyelids shut. He put his hands on either side of my face as he kissed me with love, pure and clear. 

I couldn’t help but pout slightly as he pulled away, knowing that he needed to breath. His lips were flushed pink as he slowly blinked his eyes, not moving his face away from mine. 

"I love you Tyler, please don't die on me." Troye had started to cry again, his big sapphire eyes filling with tears "Please, please don't leave me."

The fear in his voice was obvious, desperation painted across his face. The way he spoke sent chills down my spine but for the first time, in a bad way, his voice so quiet I had to strain my ears to listen to his words. 

"Troye, I promise I will fight my hardest and try my very best to stay on this earth. Even if I do lose the fight, I will be here with you." I was surprised I had managed to keep my voice even, only wavering slightly as I finished talking. I kissed him again as I said “I love you Troye Sivan”, my words sending vibrations. 

“I love you too Tilly Oakley.” My heart warming slightly at how he looked down at me, my nickname rolling off his lips nicely. He kissed me unexpectedly again, this time shorter then the last two.

He wiped his tears off his cheeks and smiled weakly at me as he got up and headed towards the door. Was he not going to say anything? He was just about to walk outside when he turned suddenly and looked at me. I decided to take advantage of his attention, mouthing ‘I love you”, as tears came streaming down.

Troye mouthed it back, blowing me a kiss and keeping his eyes on me as he walked into the hall. What if this was the last time I saw him, my heart shattering at the thought. I immediately longed for his touch, clearing my throat and speaking up.

"S-see you soon Tro-oye." I started bawling as I was saying it, causing my voice to crack. I had chosen to say this instead of goodbye, because I didn’t want to say goodbye, this wasn’t the end. 

"See ya Ti-illy" Troye looked almost helpless as nurses started to pile into my room. He ran out, worrying me for a second, before standing in front of the window. He made a heart with his hands, paining my heart with a mixture of how sad and cute he looked. He gave me one last desperate glance then disappeared from my sight. 

A new fear had settled in me, Troye was safe and so were my friends but was I? A nurse who held a needle shuffled over to me, quickly explaining that she was going to give me needle that contained something that would make me unconscious. I nodded quickly, wanting to be away from all pain as quickly as possible.

She held it over the fleshy bit in my arm and looked up at me, as if to ask for approval. I looked away as she pushed the needle into me, a small sting appearing in my arm. 

"Sweet dreams." She whispered and turned her back, placing the needle down. I felt my eyes starting to close; surprised the drug was already starting to work on me. I couldn’t hep it, I was so tired. My eyes started to blacken at the edges of my vision, my breathing becoming even and soon I was asleep, the pain in my body completely forgotten about. 

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