Until Your Last Breath (Troyler)

Chapter Eleven

Troye POV

*Timeskip to a few days later, when Troye is back in Perth*

I set up my camera and tripod in front of me, then sat on my spinny chair in front of the lights. I had decided to make a laid back singing video, intentionally choosing a song that would relate to Tyler.

"Hey what is up you guys, it's Troye. Today I am going to do a cover of Ed Sheeran's Afire Love. And um, I'm sure you can guess who it's dedicated to even though this song doesn't completely apply to uh what's happening in my life right now, some parts do, I don't know let's start."

I let a breath out and placed my fingers on the keyboard, playing the intro of the song. I gulped, slightly regretting this decision, did I want to be this personal with my viewers? I shook the thought away, fluttering my eyes shut.

"Things were all good yesterday, and then the devil took your memory. If you fell to your death today, I hope that heaven is your resting place."

The longer I sang, the more at ease I felt, becoming more confident with what I was doing.

"Now you're lying on the bed again, either way I'll cry with the rest of them."

I felt strangely exposed, not used to being so open online. I usually had a plan of what I was doing in a video, the only time I went with the flow was when I filmed my Coming Out video, just deciding to talk, no script and no plan. I was going well until I reached the chorus. The first part of the song wasn't that personal so I wasn't really singing from the heart, but the chorus was what really hit me.

"Darling hold me in your arms the way you did last night."

I was hit with a flash of memories as I sang, pictures of Tyler's arms around me as we slept, smiles on our faces as we fell asleep, a mess of tangled limbs.

"And we'll lie inside, a little while here oh."

The perfect lazy days I spent with him, completed with breakfast in bed, rays of sunlight streaming through the curtains as we scrolled through tumblr together.

"I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up."

His beautiful eyes that I would get lost in, I would drown in the multicoloured sea that his eyes held. Tyler's eyes were never one single colour, they were like a colour palette, combined colours mixing to make something amazing.

"And we're wrapped in light, in life in love."

I opened my eyes to find tears had formed behind my close lids, blinking a few times so they weren't as obvious. I clenched my jaw, biting the inside of my mouth.

"Put your open lips on mine and slowly let them shut, for they're designed to be together oh."

I suddenly longed for one of his kisses, I became desperate for the feel of Tyler's lips on mine, I couldn't imagine anyone else's, I wouldn't settle for anyone but Tyler.

"With your body next to mine, our hearts will beat as one."

I barely registered the tear that fell, I was too focused on trying to keep my voice steady and thoughts of Tyler didn't leave my mind.

"And we're set alight, we're afire love."

I became lost in the song, my hands dancing across the keyboard as I sang to Tyler. I could feel the music flowing through my fingertips, giving me a weird energy.

"Things were all good yesterday, then the devil took your breath away."

I'm sure it was obvious who this song was about, anyone could tell it was about Tyler, from how passionately I sang to the tears that trailed down my cheeks.

"And we're left here in the pain, black suit, black tie, standing in the rain."

I thought back to his funeral, the sadness from that day flooding into me. I expressed my feelings through how I sang the song, how much I wished he were here, how much I loved him. It felt like Tyler was in my room, I could feel his presence like I was singing to him and he was listening. Maybe the grief just drove me insane.

"And we're set alight, we're afire love."

It really was as if Tyler sparked a fire in me, flaming love had resided inside me because of him. After his death, it still glowed bright, nothing could ever stop me from loving him.

"To the love, the love, the love, the love."

As the lyrics slipped out of my lips, I forgot about the camera, I forgot this was a video and instead I just sang to him. I just put all my emotions into the words, this was my way of saying 'see ya later'.

"And my father and all of my family, rise from the seats to sing hallelujah."

The closing lyrics were the hardest, my throat felt like it had been tied up with knots, the unhappiness returning to me. This was for Tyler and he'd never see this. My voice became broken and wobbly, I was on the verge of breaking down and screaming.

"Rise f-from the sea-ats to sing, halleluja-ah."

I gulped, opening my eyes and staring at the camera with tear-filled eyes. I wanted to finsh this, for him. I looked down as I played the last few chords, not wanted everyone to see how badly affected I was, noticing my tear stained shirt. I then realised it was Tyler's shirt, one of the many articles of clothing I had "borrowed" from him, making my flow of tears harder.

"Hallelujah."

I flicked my eyes upwards to my ceiling, whispering so quietly I don't think it wouldn't be heard on the video. My words were barely louder than the air.

"I wish it was me Tilly."

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Author's Note: *troye voice* DA DA DA DAAA this fic is now completed yay im actually so surprised it got any reads at all, and it currently has 69 reads (what a good number to finsh at) umm hope this made you cry (in a nice way) oh btw im listening to pentatonix as i write this -scomiche hell yeah- <-- that makes me realise how many gay ships i ship (troyler, phan, jaspar, scomiche, lushlaw, shoey, newtmas - maze runner and the endless amount straight boys i ship together irl) and like wouldnt it be so fricking cool if all the youtubers did a huge musical collab? like pentatonix singing and troye and dan playing the piano together (they would also be singing) and joe (im fucking in love with his voice) and zoë singing together wAIT THE YOUTUBE BOYBAND DANCING AND LIKE MARCUS RAPPING and phil with his opera voice and tyler singing with him and omfg dancing (phan ballroom dance yay) wOW IM ASGSHKDJS I NEED TO STOP GETTING EXCITED OVER THOUGHTS LIKE THESE no but srs bsnss (insert le daniel howell reference) here i get so happy when i think of things like this, it needs to happen

this became so so painfully long, i hope my thoughts are interesting

Comment, vote, follow, THANK YOU FOR READING THIS

- Jade x