Fanboy (Albedo X Sucrose)

Prologue

TRIGGER WARNING:
THIS CHAPTER TOUCHES TOPICS RELATED TO D*PRESSION, SUIC*DE AND D*VORCE THAT MIGHT BE SENSITIVE OR DISTURBING TO SOME AUDIENCES. PLEASE READ DISCRETIONLY OR SKIP THIS CHAPTER.
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They got divorced.

I couldn't believe the words I said, but they really got divorced. After so many happy years married, someone separated them, and it was a lawyer. It's hard to process everything that happened in the last twelve hours, but it is happening. No more mom and dad, just mom since today. And I must accept it. And that same day, a few minutes after my mom confirmed she's divorced, that girl is asking me to break up by texting me.

Life is hard, and relationships are useless. But why, even if I think that way. Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel like needing to cry? Cry is for the weak, and I am strong.

But there's no one around here, and it shouldn't bother to throw some tears after all. If I am a human, it is normal to cry a bit, right? So I started to cry, and I realized that I'm weak.

My life seems to be useless now. I feel like I have no meaning for anything. I'm a seventeen years old student that just wants to be happy for once. I just want to fill that empty space that my parents and partner leaved in me. There's no reason why I should feel happy again. There's no meaning. There's no reason to stay alive. And If I have no meaning in this world, I must dissapear, so new people can live here.

I was in my bedroom, my messy bedroom. The blankets not folded at the bed. A lot of notebooks on my desk, all with my philosophical writings that at the moment are useless as my life. I'm sitting at the floor, with my wet face, trying to do something I might regret. Slowly, I opened the razor that my mother had bought me for my birthday to go to the forest for a walk, but we never went, and we will never go. I pulled her close to my arm, and felt my regret, but it didn't stop me.

And before I could manage to make a cut on my wrist, he called me. I hate you, Timaeus, and I hope you drop your salad today as a karma.

—“What would you want to talk about today? Do you want me to give you the answer of the question 3 on page 78?“ —I answered angrily to the phone. —“ It's okay, is x=12, but please don't bother me again...” —My words were cut off by him.

—“I wasn't asking you the answers, but of you insist, I also need question 1 and 2, please.” —He joked on me.

—“I'm not giving you any answer, Timaeus.” —I was tired. —“Why are you calling me at late hours?”

—“Albedo, it's 16:00, what are you talking about? Have you seen daylight in the whole day?” —“He was worried about me. —“And why do your voice sound depressing today? Are you okay, bro?”

—“Give me a damn reason to stay alive, Timaeus.” —I couldn't hold the urge to cry on the call. —“Otherwise, my maths book is on the desk, and you can take it if you want”

—“Thanks for the offer, but I declined if the price of having all answers is your life, okay?” —He answered. —“But did you see the new Idol Girlgroup that have just debuted?”

I had no idea of what he was talking about, so I decided to ask him.

—“What do you mean, Timae?” —I was confused.

—“Dandelion, Bedo. Dandelion” —He was excited. —“The new Girlgroup that is gonna perform at the main square. We must go and see them!” —He asked me going with him.

I was so close to doing something that I will probably regret one day, but it seemed like today was not the day. No Albedo, you will suffer a little more before resting in Celestia. Still, I accepted his proposal. As soon as I could, I changed my clothes and leaved the house. My mom didn't care where I went, she was just making calls talking about her situation, trying to explain the Inexplicable. He only told me "Come back early" and I nodded.

Timaeus and I meet near Sara's mini market. And from there, we both rushed to the main square. Before in that place there was a church, but since "that incident" the believers demanded to destroy that place. Now it is a performance venue, and every week different musical groups meet to present their music and win prizes on television shows broadcast live throughout Mondstadt. The show is called “Mondstadt Musical Wave” and it's very popular, but I honestly don't see how entertaining it is. Every week 6 to 10 songs are repeated. It's so boring.

Timaeus and I walked into the venue and got a front row seat, although I honestly didn't want to be so close to the music.

—“And then the Dandelion girls performing their debut song “I Need Your Love”— Said the host of the program, Kaeya Alberich.

And there, they entered the scene. Four girls, a blonde, a brunette, another with pink hair and a girl with minty hair, who gained my attention. Their costumes were cute and they looked flashy. And when I least expected it, their voice crossed my body, and that void that all those people left was filled.

Their voices were calm and powerful. They kept me attentive to her every word. The pre-chorus arrived and that blonde haired girl began to sing.

“Tryin' to push you away
But still can't let you go
Cause I love you”

Her voice was tremendously beautiful, until that other girl began to sing the hard part, the chorus. The minty-haired girl and her presence on stage kept me from blinking for a moment.

“I mean it, I want you so bad
I need you, yeah
you are stuck in my head, baby

At first sight I want you so bad
Can't stop lovin' you
It hurts so bad because of you'll
Never, never, never, never, never...

...I'm out of control.”

And from that day on, Dandelion became my strength. The dances, the rhythm and her sweet voice captivated me. And specifically, that girl with minty hair who in the middle of the performance turned to see me and smiled at me. That girl... I think I've become a fanboy.