Look at Me

Recovery

September, 2006

Back in New York City. Her last year of college.

Elsa had a new apartment, this time she would be living by herself as she intended to stay in New York once she graduated. Her summer job had gone well and it gave her the experience and confidence she needed to pursue her goals.

It helped distract her from her worried thoughts. She hadn't seen or heard from Jack in five months. She regularly stayed in touch with Hiccup who would give him updates about his family, but otherwise, it was silence. Elsa shared few details with her parents about him, about how she had a boyfriend that was having a 'tough time' and they were taking a break. Elsa assured them that Jack had been nothing but good to her and Anna backed up her story.

In truth, Anna was hoping to see Elsa and Jack patch things up, but Elsa wasn't sure what to expect. She tried not to be hopeful—it was the best thing for her right now.

It was a rainy, grey day. Elsa was unpacking and organizing. She'd gotten a haircut a week before, her blonde hair was now in a wavy bob that touched her shoulders. She liked her hair short since she was always on the move these days. It had taken her four years, but Elsa felt like she was coming into her own in the big city.

She didn't even need help carrying her things up to her apartment, and she walked through the streets with purpose, not like a deer in the headlights. Once she'd moved in, she sent a group text letting her friends and family know she'd made it safely to her new home. All but Jack was a part of that group. Elsa found herself typing out a message just for him, but would delete it before she hit send.

Hiccup and Anna both had her new address and Jack's number. She supposed if they wanted to tell him where she was living, they could. It took Elsa weeks to get over the hurt of what had happened to him, then finals were torment since he still hadn't returned from the hospital. She could barely focus and was shocked to see she'd passed her courses.

Her first three days in New York were uneventful. She would spend the day getting adjusted, setting up her new apartment and getting groceries. When the weather was nicer, she took walks. She went to central park and sat on the bench with her music. As cliché as it was, she thought about how she and Jack liked to come here just to walk together or people watch.

On her fourth day, the day that was too rainy for Elsa to really go anywhere, she got a knock on her door at about ten in the morning. She wasn't expecting anyone and she thought it was maybe the landlord or a neighbor introducing themself. Elsa approached the door and looked through the peephole.

Her heart nearly stopped when she did. Elsa unlatched the door and opened it.

Jack, with his brown roots growing back in, stood there. He was drenched, but didn't look bothered. He looked like he couldn't breathe, all he could manage was, "...Coffee?"

...

They sat out on the balcony with their mugs still steaming. Both were trembling and wordless. They would sometimes look at each other and awkwardly sip their drinks, but there wasn't any conversation.

"Um..." Elsa tapped her nails against the glass. "Is the coffee all right?"

"Yeah!" He hastily replied. "It's fine." They gazed at each other for a long time. It was hard to believe almost half a year had passed since they last saw each other. Elsa took a deep breath and looked away again.

"...How are you?" She finally asked.

"I'm fine." He mumbled.

"Were you... um, are you in recovery?"