Look at Me

Old Wounds

Later, that night.

Elsa's entire body was relaxed; her breathing was steady and her eyes were closed. She felt a tug on the sheets and stirred. It was when she heard a small grunt of pain from Jack that she opened her eyes.

She turned her head to see he was breathing hard. He was still turned away from her, so she couldn't see his face—but she wouldn't have to. His entire body shuddered as he gasped, followed by a scared whimper. She froze, uncertain of what to do. It was never good, nor always safe, to jerk someone from the throes of a nightmare. Jack grew more distressed, and Elsa was left without a choice. She, with tentative hands, shook his shoulder.

"Jack. Jack!" She touched his head, "Wake up!"

Her touch made his entire body twitch and his eyes shot open. Panicked, he turned over to see who was shaking him, then looked relieved to see it was only Elsa. He was gasping for air.

"Hey, hey... It's okay." She stroked his arm.

Jack realized it then, "I forgot to take my medicine." He lied back down. "That's all." He chased all memory of the nightmare away; he was too tired to fear another one. Meanwhile, Elsa felt responsible; her bringing up the drugs had to have triggered it. Forgetting his medicine couldn't be the only cause.

"Do you want—"

"No."

She didn't even finish! She was just going to ask if he wanted water. He must've assumed she was going to ask him to talk about it; that was the question he was accustomed to. She lied back on her side, hand still stroking his arm, "I love you."

He reached around and took her hand. It brought her comfort. "I love you too." He brought her hand over his shoulder and kissed her knuckles. "Go back to sleep." It was more of a plea than a demand. "I'm all right." His heartbeat returned to normal speed and he closed his eyes again... but Elsa held onto his hand until she was certain he was asleep.

...

Elsa didn't bother Jack that morning. She let him sleep in as she cooked for herself at the stove. Fresh coffee sat in the pot and a clean mug was left next to it for him once he joined her. She had not slept well the night before either, she'd wanted to know if he really was as fine as he claimed to be. How coldly he'd brushed off her questions and refused her comfort, it just wasn't what she'd expected, nor was it what she was used to coming from a family like hers.

She heard the bathroom door open and shut, then another few minutes rolled by before it opened again and he appeared from around the corner. "Hey, beautiful."

"Good morning." She grinned back. "There's coffee in the pot."

"Nice, thank you."

"Um, how'd you sleep?"

"Fine." He answered, knowing she must've meant after he'd woken them both up.

"...I owe you an apology."

"Hm? Why?"

"For getting you worked up last night. I didn't realize how much bringing up old stuff affected you."

Jack tensed. "You didn't do anything. I didn't take my prazosin. In fact, let me take my Zoloft before I forget." Before he did, he walked over and kissed her cheek, "You didn't do anything wrong, really." He gave her back a rub before going into her room where he'd left his jacket and pill bottles.

Elsa couldn't shake the guilt. She followed him into her room. "I was thinking we could go see a movie today. Or rent one to watch here, whichever."