Look at Me

The Kiss

December, 2000

Jack's sixteenth birthday came and went, and the weeks after were focused entirely on his mid-term exams and packing a suitcase since his mother decided they'd be driving to Allentown to visit family this winter break. He'd find any excuse to not have to go, but it was only to visit his grandparents and aunt for a few days.

His mother said it was only fair since the last few times they saw each other, her family had to make the trip down to their new place and her grandparents could only handle so many drives back and forth per year.

He knew better than to bring any drugs with him, so it was back to the prazosin for at least a week. Jack had been having the same dream for several nights; dreams about being trapped in a house with something chasing after him and no way for him to escape. He figured this was his version of an 'anxiety dream,' though most adolescents had ones where they were naked in class or losing their teeth. He'd never dreamt of something consecutively like this before and debated if it was his body trying to adjust to his medicine all over again.

It impressed Jack how little Allentown had changed, granted it had only been three years since he moved, and he hadn't taken many walks around the city in a while like he used to.

He forgot how much there was to do around here, and wondered why he didn't appreciate it enough when he was younger. He surmised that's what happens when he had a father that never allowed him to go anywhere unless he was invited or if he snuck out. Funny how none of his hobbies had changed no matter what state he was in, but while on holiday vacation he supposed he'd be a 'good boy' and not even try to buy some weed. The last thing he needed was cops showing up at his grandparents' home right around Christmas and humiliating his mom. Pennsylvania police were a lot less lenient than Virginia, at least as far as Jack could tell. Virginia authorities either didn't realize what was happening right in front of them or honestly didn't care.

The stay there wasn't all that bad—he took Mary ice skating and to look at the Christmas lights, but they forgot what blizzards in Allentown felt like compared to Virginia, and so they had to end their adventures earlier than anticipated. Living farther south had spoiled them a bit.

Being back 'home' wasn't as triggering as his mother had initially worried it would be. They were nowhere near where their old house was, where all the abuse and every one of Jack's recurring nightmares took place. And the comfort his grandparents always brought to him and his sister was enough to help them not even think of those old fears.

Jack, like everyone else in the house, was woken up to Mary jumping on top of them on Christmas morning. She was still at that age where it was magical to wake up and see all the presents under the tree, and now she could rouse them at the crack of dawn if she pleased. He'd been in such a deep sleep that he proved to be the most difficult for her to get out of bed, but Mary was relentless and unaware that he was even on medication that affected his sleep. She pestered and shook him until he finally rolled over off of the air mattress he'd been sharing with her.

Admittedly, it was nice seeing her so excited to tear open every present addressed to her, while Jack savored each of his gifts and took his time unwrapping what little he got. Jack was the type of person who when he said he didn't want or need anything for Christmas, he meant it. So seeing anything under the tree for him was enough.

Throughout that week, Jack spent a lot of time with his grandfather. He hadn't gotten to be very close to him as a child, since his father kept his mother isolated from her family, so it felt like he was just now getting to know him. They bonded by watching old movies together—he kept quite the collection in his basement and would often send Jack videotapes and DVDs for him to keep.