Incendiary

7. Forced fate

Heyyy :)) I know this is very late, but this chapter is the longest one I have ever written, so I have a reason.

This chapter is very long, but there was no way for me to split it up, so just enjoy.

This is unedited because I couldn't sleep last night, so I am very tired, and editing when you can't even think straight is very challenging.

Please Vote, Comment, and Follow!!!!

TW: Mentions of abuse, toxicity, underage drinking, struggles with mental health.

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Nova

It's 2:30 when I get home.

I took a taxi, and the ride was filled with insufferable thoughts of him. Everything is him, and I don't know how to make it stop.

He's always had that effect on me. Even when we were kids, I'd allowed myself to give so much to him just to be left with nothing in return. Maybe we both had to grow a little more, but now it feels like a few years too late. 

I couldn't stop thinking about how much he has changed, how much time we missed, and how many feelings he brought forward today. He had said he wanted us to stop being immature, but I can't fathom not hating him.

Well, I guess I don't hate him. I don't know if I can hate him. I can, however, say that I hate him to soothe the lingering hurt. 

I also don't think hating him is immature- it's reasonable.

He still owes me an apology.

But even if he did apologize- I can't guarantee that I would accept it.

When I got home, I wanted a distraction. I had called my friends to do a movie night with me. All three of them said they were free, and we settled on all of them coming to my apartment at 5:00.

Knowing that I would be able to spend my night with my friends brought immediate relief to me.

I felt too itchy in my work clothes. It felt like the fabric was tainted by him so, I peeled off every layer of clothing I had on and changed into boyshorts and a baggy shirt- feeling much better.

Then, I walked into my kitchen and saw that I had, pretty much, no food, so I spared a few texts to each of them, telling them to bring some snacks. I ordered Chinese food for me, Tony, and Roma, and a vegan pizza for Violet.

Violet was trying out being a vegan and was constantly getting us to try out vegan restaurants, so I had a good idea of which ones were the best in my area.

Both Violet and Roma lived further from Tony and me. That made it harder for us to hang out as a group, but we tried.

* * * * * * * * * *

It's 6:30, and I am currently arguing with Roma about why we should watch Harry Potter instead of Twilight.

"Guys," Violet groans. Her black bob falls over her hands that are splayed to cover her face.

"Shut it, Violet, this isn't your debate." Roma playfully glares at Violet.

"You know what?" Tony gets up from her spot on the floor, "We are not going to watch one of your nerdy middle school movies. We are going to watch a romantic comedy." Tony snatches the remote sitting between us.

Both Roma and I groan, but we both shut up as soon as Tony gives us her death glare.

Bitch.

Roma and I are sitting on my couch, Tony and Violet are on a few blankets they set out on the floor.