Feelings that never remain to be forgotten.

4

"Liar."

It seemed so fragile. It looked so dark.
It felt like dying. Every breath was a fight.

It was like a glass, shattered into a thousand pieces because someone caused it to fall.
Like you did. You fell for Fred Weasley in every possible way you could, but yet you were holding the last pieces of your heart. Trying to fix the mess even tho you knew you couldn't.

The pain you had been feeling the last days was unreal. The past three days you stayed at pansy's dorm. She took care of you. But still all you did was sit there numb or cry until there were no tears left. You lost him and it changed the person you were..

After those days you decided to go back to your room again. You knew you weren't ready to see him but you eventually had to met him again some time. So you walked through the lonely hall of Hogwarts as you felt your heart aching.
Every place, every bench, every classroom...they were filled with much memories of you and Fred. All the stuff you had been through and still it wasn't enough..

Just as you were walking up the stairs to the common room you heard a loud gasp.
It was George. He immediately ran over and pulled you into a deep hug. But you just stood  there, no emotion in your face and not one good thought.
"I'm so, so sorry y/n." George shuttered into you shoulder. Just then he met your gaze.
Your eyes red and puffy.
It wasn't the usual you.
You were cold and broken.

His eyes wandered down to your arms. Seeing all the new cuts you had. You arms were red and swollen from them.
"You did it again?" George whispered with a broken voice. Now it was both of you looking down at your arm.

"I promised myself not to cut when there's still a reason to try...but there is no more." You whispered as the first tears filled up in your eyes again.
George's heart broke seeing you like this. You were his sister, he grew up with you and like Fred, he knew you better than any else. Both of the twins helped you through the self harm and for a few moments in your life it seemed as if there would be a happy ending...when simply there was none.

"There are plenty reasons y/n." George shuttered, trying to hold back the broken voice he had. But you only shook your head.
George knew he couldn't say something to fix that mess.
"It was good to see you georgie." You whispered as you suddenly walked away.

You soon entered the common room. But for your luck Fred was sitting on one of the couches. You met his gaze. His eyes were broken and red. Did he cry? You questioned yourself. But as soon as you caught Angelina Johnson, known as the girl he choose over you, sitting next to him. You  knew he didn't love you or ever did. All he did was only love himself. Without any words you walked past them and just as you reached the first stair to your dorm, you heard Angelina clear her throat loud and annoyed. With a fake smile you turned around to face her. Fred was staring at you the whole time but you- you didn't look at him. The fact that he was already dating her made you realize that all he said, all those memories, everything was fake.

"Can I help you?" You asked with an arrogant voice.

"Yes you actually can, I want you to give back all the things you still have of Fred." She smiled and you felt how your heart was lit on fire.

You glanced over to Fred with fire in your eyes.
"I already burned all of Weasley's stuff." You answered without breaking the eye contact. You knew calling him Weasley would break him. And in fact you wanted to hurt him.
So bad.

"And if you excuse me now, even doing nothing is better than talking to you." You smiled at Angelina before walked off.

You were gone and Angelina scoffed.
"How does she dare to talk to ME like that?!" Angelina barked angrily.
But Fred just stared at the floor. It was the first time you called him Weasley and meant it.
His heart was barely beating.
His eyes were filled with tears.
"Freddie are you even listening to me?!" Angelina scoffed again.

"Yeah sure babe, go on." Fred whispered as he pretended to listen while all he did was thinking about you. And what you would do?Of course he had noticed the new cuts on your arms. But what was supposed to do?
It wasn't his problem anymore...right?

You stormed into your room and shut the door. The first seconds you just leaned your back against the door, trying not to cry.
Trying to catch up with your heart. It was racing.

Just as you inhaled a big breath you slowly opened your eyes. You were back in your dorm. But just by looking at it your heart started racing again. It was a room full of Fred. Anger was filling up your body. You ran through the room and ripped away every picture you had on your walls. Throwing every clothes of his away.

You got yourself a big box where you placed all those pictures, all the love letteres he had written for you. His favorite hoodie. Everything.

After some minutes your room was blank.
There was no color. It seemed like no one was living there. It was how your heart felt right now. Empty.

A soft sob escaped your lips as you caught the promise ring on your ring finger. Fred had gotten it for at your first year anniversary. He promised you to be always there for you no matter what.
"Liar." You whispered as you slowly pulled off the ring from your finger.
"What about: 'I'll love you forever.' " You cried as your eyes were glued on the ring on your hands. You carefully laid down the ring to the other stuff and put it under your bed.

You let yourself sink into the cold bed and immediately smelled Fred. His smell was still there. You couldn't take it. And once again you've left your dorm and knocked at Hermione's door.
She opened the door and gasped as she caugh you standing there. With a miserable look on your face and the tears in your eyes.
"M- my bed smells like Fred-" you cried and she immediately hugged you.

"Come in, you'll sleep in my room." She whispered as she pulled you inside and closed the door...

.
Don't worry, I'm also crying.