When love leads to betrayal...

Part 4: Nothing but memories?

From Eda's POV:

That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, to tell Serkan "no" and that I had to think about what I needed to do. These last few months have been pure hell and torture for me. First he leaves for work on our wedding day and after promising to be back before I can even open my eyes; he doesn't. Before I heard about the plane crash I was so pissed at him, I mean come on who leaves for work on their wedding day. I thought maybe he changed his mind and couldn't go through with it after all. It kept replaying in my brain him saying that even if he didn't return he would fall in love with me a hundred times. Maybe we were just meant to love one another but not get married, maybe he didn't see himself as the marrying type. My head was spinning with all the what if's and negative thoughts. Then the worst thing I could ever imagine happened and I heard that his plane had crashed and he was missing. My heart stopped beating right then and there, no joke. I pleaded with God to let him be safe and to return to me. If marriage was not in the cards for us I was okay with it as long as Serkan was alive and would come home. I remember looking at Aydan Anne and Hala and then nothing but blackness. In my mind we were married and enjoying one another as a happily married couple. When I came to I looked for my husband only to be met with tear filled eyes and faces full of fear. I screamed for Serkan and wanted to know where he was. Melo, Fifi and Ceren had to hold me back and try to comfort me, but who were they kidding NOTHING could have brought me comfort at that moment but seeing my robot walk through the door.

As the hours passed and my endless tears flowed. I couldn't help but replay all of our memories both good and bad. Knowing they all made us fall in love and want to spend the rest of our lives together. I wanted nothing more than to look into his mesmerizing eyes that made me get lost in them every damn time. I wanted to breathe in his scent that made me feel like home and feel his strong arms hold me close. I longed to hear the best of his heart that matched mine whenever we were close. But would I ever have that again and if not how in the hell would I survive, was it possible? I shook my head of those thoughts and listened to my heart that told me Serkan was alive and would return, my heart felt his heart and I held onto that.

I returned home, mine and Serkan's home but it felt empty. Everywhere I looked I could see us, cuddling, kissing, eating, talking and making love. It was torment but torment in it's best form. I wanted to be alone with my memories and locked myself in our bedroom for days without talking to anyone other than Sirius and not even taking the time to eat. If I didn't have Serkan than why bother. Sirius kept me company but even he was grieving because his Dad was not there and I was useless. It was at that moment that I sat upright and remembered Serkan telling me that I was the strongest woman he knew, I kissed Sirius and we went outside for a walk. I felt a drive to get moving and to do what I knew Serkan would want me to do, live. So that night I slept, fretfully of course with vivid nightmares of Serkan, but I got up, got dressed and drove to ArtLife; it was time to get to work I couldn't let the company fall apart not only for Serkan but for all our friends and colleagues. I had to do it.

So I worked from daylight to dark every night, just like my robot used to. I had contacted a friend of mine named Deniz to help me locate Serkan's plane and hopefully him. Everyone around me was loosing hope, except for myself and Aydan Anne we knew in our hearts and souls that our Serkan was still alive and would return. We kept in close contact and spent a lot of time together just talking about Serkan and the future. We were each other's rock.

Time passed by with no leads or word from anyone about Serkan, his plane still had not been located. How is that even possible for a plane to disappear without a trace? I still kept hope in my heart for a word that he had been found alive. It has been 2 months without any new information and everyone is telling me to accept it and to move on. How can I when my reason for existence is gone? I can't, it's that simple. Until I have positive proof that he is gone I will NEVER stop searching and hoping.

Today marks exactly 3 months since what was supposed to be the most beautiful day of my life but turned out to be my worst nightmare. I got up and felt different today, my heart was beating faster and my skin was tingling. I just knew it was a good sign that my love was alive and close to me. I could feel him. I put on one of Serkan's favorite outfits, sprayed my perfume grabbed Sirius because I wanted him with me today and we headed to the company. I walked in with a smile and I guess everyone was thinking, "she is finally accepting it" but they were wrong because I was smiling because today was going to be the day that my Serkan came home.

And I was right but only partly, because Serkan did walk into the office today but he wasn't alone, he was holding tightly to the hand of a smiling Selin. WTF?!? He looked the same but obviously he wasn't. Did he leave me on our wedding day and then decide to go to Selin? Is that why his plane was never found because there was no crash it was all just so he could leave me and be with her? Was it all a lie? The love? The passion? The proposal? The wedding? I couldn't speak but just stared at him with my eyes filled with tears. He stared at me like he didn't even know who I was. What the hell is going on? I said his name, he looked at me and nodded but nothing. Engin stepped up and said "Abi we are so glad to have you back, we were so worried about you, what happened and where have you been?" Serkan, or the Serkan look alike because he certainly wasn't acting like my Serkan, said "I have been in Slovenia recovering from my plane crash and thankfully I called Selin to come and naturally she rushed to be by my side. She has been there every step of the way in my recovery so after I was healed we decided it was time to return to work and to try to fix what was destroyed while I was gone" he said this as he glared at me. Engin almost choked and said "Abi, the company has not been destroyed, Eda has made sure that things were as you would want them." Serkan responded with a smirk to Selin "oh I'm sure she has." I felt like I was in another world, where was my Serkan and who was this imposter? And why had he called Selin to come to him? What the actual hell was going on? Everyone looked at Serkan and then at me with confused faces wondering what had happened to him and why he was holding hands with Selin. I kept staring at their intwined hands and couldn't help the sobs that escaped. I covered my mouth in both surprise and disgust at what I was seeing. Didn't Serkan send Selin away because of her vindictive ways? Didn't he tell her to never return? Why is she here and why is he holding her and looking at her? I repeat his name and he responds with "yes Ms. Eda?" Ms. Eda what the? I ask him if he knows who I am and he looks at Selin and says " of course I know you, we had a contract to break up Selin and Ferit, then you betrayed me by giving Kaan my designs, I know that now you own half the shares in MY COMPANY and I don't know how or why they happened but I will not stand for it now that I am back. Selin told me everything, how you manipulated me in order to destroy me as revenge for the death of your parents. Well Ms. Eda let me tell you right here right now I don't know what kind of mind games you played with me and how I fell for them but they are over. "

And with those words, that look of hatred from the man I loved, my world ended!!