When love leads to betrayal...

Mind over heart? or Heart over mind?

Eda was frozen.. Serkan's words were everything that she ever wanted to hear him say, but was it true? Could she put all of her faith, hope and dreams in him again? Could she release the chains and walls around her heart and return it to the man that had obliterated it in the first place?
    Question after question arose to her mind, along with memory after memory. Serkan stood there looking at her, silent to give her time to think about all that he said, but pleadingly all the same. He didn't know what he would do if she said "no," if she wasn't willing to give him the chance to make it up to her.
    Eda stared at Serkan and Serkan stared at Eda, both silent, both with broken hearts, one from pain and one from guilt.

Eda

I have longed to hear these words from Serkan for months. I begged him to give us a chance; to give himself a chance to get to know me and us again but he refused and told me I was his past and that he was with Selin. Damn, he couldn't have stabbed me through the heart and it hurt any more than those words, actually just her name was enough to shatter me. I have cried so many tears over Serkan in our short time together. He has hurt me deeply, 1, by breaking up with me when he found out about his father being responsible for my parents deaths, 2, with Balca, 3, when he left on our wedding day and his plane disappeared, 4, every day since, 5,  when he returned after 2 months of missing, 6,  when he looked at me like I was a stranger, 7, when he told me I was in the past and he was with Selin, 8,  when he proposed to to Selin immediately after I kissed him, 9, when he chose an engagement ring for Selin right in front of me as I was wearing mine, 10, every cruel word and laugh about our past love, 11, every "askim" directed at Selin, 12, the birthday party he planned for Selin, 13, Callie Selin his "sunshine", 14, every kiss with Selin that was followed by a smirk and 15, gifting Selin shares in our company. I know there are more than this, but when listing them I realize that I have cried more than I have done anything else. Yes I loved him and we had wonderful memories but maybe that's all they were meant to be. As I recall these moments I feel like I must list them to him the workaholic that  always needs proof/evidence, so I do. I relay my list word for word reminding him of all the hurt he has caused me. I actually see him flinch at my words/reminders.
   As much as it hurt to say that and see his torn face, it felt good to let it all out to him. I have kept my feelings bottled up my whole life but being heartbroken and devastated has made me realize that life is to short to hold back. I ask him if he honestly thinks that "love is supposed to hurt this much?". I tell him that him being alive and coming back to his life was enough for me and now we can go our separate ways.

Serkan

She actually lists the times I have made her cry and I can only flinch and close my eyes because it's all true and there's probably more. But I know the love we shared meant and means so much more, right? If we look at the big picture of our all encompassing love, there were great and wonderful moments, there was love and devotion, appreciation, admiration, respect, warmth, care, concern, sincerity, jealousy, and lust. I know there was also, hurt, pain, anguish, heartbreak, grief and pain. But true love is every emotion isn't it? I know I have SO MUCH to make up for, from the past that I just swept under the rug and from recently. I have to accept and acknowledge that I am a prick but for her I have and will continue to change and work hard every day to become the man that she deserves. I can't let her go, I have waited for her my entire life I just didn't know it.
  I have to let her know that I want her and us, forever and always. I don't want to be separated from her not for an hour, not for a day and certainly not forever.
   "Eda, please? I can't apologize enough for all that I have put you through both past and present. I have never cared what anyone thought about me, it never mattered until YOU came along. You flipped my world in its axis just from the first look at you. I didn't know how to deal with these feelings, because I have always ignored and avoided feelings because they never did anything good for me. I have only ever been hurt by those I cared about. You enamored me from the start. Your eyes, your smile with those gorgeous dimples, your wit and humor, your big, caring heart, your love for those you care about, your spirit, your determination, your talent, your creative outside the box thinking, your eagerness to learn and try new things, your stubbornness, your feisty attitude, and just YOU!!  All of you!! But most importantly, the way you look at me with love in your eyes, the way your body feels next to mine, your kisses and how they make my heart beat fast and my breath catch, your hands when they caress my cheek or beard, your beautiful, fragrant hair when it falls around me and I am surrounded by your scent, your beautiful, long, glorious, sexy as hell legs, especially when they are wrapped around me, your heart that beats in tune with mine when we are close, your love for food and your low tolerance for alcohol, and your willingness to love me in spite of my robot ways and also because of them. WE are meant for one another, Eda and I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THERE ARE STARS IN NIGHT TIME SKY WE LOVE TO LOOK AT TOGETHER. You are my most beautiful star, Eda!! I will gladly apologize and make amends to you every day for the rest of my life for all I have put you through. But I know, I KNOW that our love can survive anything. We have proven it so please let me spend time with you and rebuild your trust in me? We can take things as slow as you want, I am here for you and will do whatever you ask except to leave you Eda and that is just something I can't or won't do, ever.

Eda couldn't control the smile that appeared on her face after hearing his words. When Serkan saw her smile he instantly smiled in return. The air felt lighter, a little less tense and volatile and then..

The next chapter will be the epilogue.. thank you all so much for all your votes and comments. I truly read and appreciate them all 😍😘❤️