[: mcyt angst :] - DISCONTINUED -

chapter 21: escape route (part 4)

~ { Kiwi's POV } ~

"Tommy," I spit the name out like it was rat poison, "Tubbo."

The two continued to look at me with a bewildered look. Then I saw it. Tubbo was crying. Why he was crying, I wouldn't know.

"Kiwi?" Tubbo spoke in barely a whisper. I grunted and looked away. "Why are you here?" Me and Tubbo said in unison. I turned back, equally as bewildered now.

"What?" We said, again, at the same time. Tommy let out a coarse laugh, but quickly shut up when he realized how thick the atmosphere was. I glared at him for a moment but turned my attention back to Tubbo. We must've all been the same age, why did he look younger than me and Tommy?

"Tubbo," I stared him directly in the eyes with a confidence that arose in me, "Why are you here?" The two looked at each other, as if they were communicating with their eyes. And from my experience back in AmberGrove, they were debating whether to answer me or ask me the same question, and Tubbo was winning.

"Me and Tommy- the only time we can play alone in the woods is at night, so we were playing and heard you-" "We heard you balling your eyes out like a little baby, why are you here?" Tommy finished for him. I wouldn't have believed them if they were anyone else, but it's Tommy and Tubbo. Why not?

"Running away. AmberGrove is worse than Hell," I sighed and rubbed my eyes. They weren't wet anymore. "What do you mean? It was pretty, and everyone was so nice, and-" "Just stop." I put a hand up, shutting him up.

"You don't understand. To you, AmberGrove is sunshine and rainbows. To me, they burn the rainbows. Listen, what I'm saying is, you were kinda... privileged in AmberGrove. Before you ask, yes, I said privileged. The people are so toxic, I couldn't live there with a gas mask surgically sewed onto my face."

Tommy started cracking up, but quickly recovered and put a hand on Tubbo's shoulder protectively. "Shut the fuck up, Kiwi. You hurt Tubbo, you deserved to be hurt," he growled. I grunted and physically felt a flame shoot up my body.

"What, is that fair to you?" I asked. Tommy nodded, a smirk playing on his lips. I smiled.

"So you, TommyInnit, believe that homophobia is fair? You believe that homosexual girls under the age of 18 deserved to be constantly ridiculed for their choice in relationships and harrased for wearing clothes that show an inch extra of skin? That's what you believe? Yeah, you're right, I deserve to suffer and burn in Hell," I snarled. Tommy looked shocked, but slightly angry at the same time. Tubbo was just shocked.

"W-Wha? What did you s-say?" Tubbo muttered so quietly, I almost didn't hear him. I smiled again, this time more fake. "I said that I was teased for not being a privileged heterosexual and cat-called for wearing something that ended above my knees."

"So... you're lesbian." Tommy asked. No, demanded. His tone faltered. "No, idiot, I'm bisexual. But seeing you is gonna turn me lesbian," I snickered. Tommy mumbled something under his breath and looked at Tubbo, who seemed like he was going to pass out. He was so pale. I considered getting him medical attention, but one look at me would've made them realize I didn't belong.

"Well, Tubbo and I are gonna go back. C'mon, get your shit together, you're coming with us." I gasped and made goo-goo eyes at Tommy, which was met by a low grunt. "C'mon Tubbo, we gotta go," Tommy sighed and rolled his eyes. "Tubbo?"

Tubbo stared at me blankly. Absolutely no emotion could be pulled from his face or body language. Tommy grabbed his arm and tugged.

I should've felt hatred. No, I would've felt hatred. But something inside of me just overruled any harsh feelings I had towards Tubbo, and replaced it with a feeling of... something. Empathy? Sincerity? Worry? The feelings were all familiar, but jumbled together like this just didn't feel right. Add in the confusion of not feeling overwhelming rage, and I am a mess.

"Kiwi-" "Coming." I gathered everything I brought and scurried over to the entrance of the cave.

Tommy must've seen how distracted me and Tubbo were, because he shoved us and yelled, "You guys can be sad on your own time, we have 20 foking minutes of walking ahead of us!"

I yawned, but pushed away the exhaustion unexpectedly washing over me. Everything stressed me out, I was sensitive, I was vulnerable. My mom hated vulnerability. She saw it as a weakness, and said that, "True women never show weakness."

I ran in the general direction that Tommy and Tubbo came from. I didn't bother to glance behind me, or say anything when something scraped against my skin. The most I could manage was a small whimper.