The Rise and Fall of Matt Litter

Chapter 19: I no longer hear the music

Now, here's the thing. Despite everything we've been going through, we still will meet up to talk about our future. You know, the direction we want to give the band and our future in the upcoming years. That doesn't necessarily mean 'writing an album' but it means to keep things in mind about what we want to archive in the future. Things have been changing this past year, these past years, actually, since the success of the third album was even greater than what we were expecting, and... well, nothing had prepared us for it. The boys have their things, of course, and they keep them busy... but that doesn't mean they'll stop caring for the band or anything. And, since we've been inactive for quite a while, we are reuniting only just to see how our future will develop. Remember Martin's daughter? I've met her, by the way, we all had. Babies are usually just... well, plain ugly and I don't like them, but she seems nice and just... well, ugly but nice. She's like two days old the first time we see her, and then we see her again when she's a month, and four, and she's just... growing, I guess... as they all do. I don't know, I really don't know much about babies.

Anyway, the next few months, until December arrives, aren't that bad.

Demian still thinks about studying something related to English. He doesn't quite talk about it but I can sense it. I know he does think about it, but there's nothing I can do... I can't ask him about it, can I? I mean I could but... I wouldn't like the answer.

In the upcoming months, I do as much stuff as I can to keep myself busy. I try, although it's the same that writing music. I'm writing all the time to be fair, but there's one thing to write with your mindset on something and another one to write just for the sake of writing. Like, I write sometimes for the band and some others for myself, and although I first couldn't quite spot the difference between the two, I'm beginning to grow more and more conscious about that with each passing day. Especially now that, from this past album and on, the rest of the band (I mean Nick, Freddy, and Martin) have been wanting a little more creative process when it comes to the writings, probably because of the success our last album was, and it was a mix between everyone's ideas. It's not that our first two albums weren't, but there's a difference because... well, for the first two they didn't care. Now we are one of the best-selling artists of the country, and that means that our status grows, our fame grows, and that our responsibilities do, too. And that they do care.

I have nothing against that, honestly. I love to share the creative process and I love to share it with my friends, and I also love cooperation among all of us. But there's one thing I was never good at and I've mentioned this before —they didn't want to be stars at first. They didn't care about fame, fortune, or glory, and they only cared about music. I'd lie if I said I was any different, though, and even if we all now are more grown-up and we were lucky when we first started with the band... well, some things change, of course, and they don't change because one becomes more mature or older, but because... our mentality shifts. Our ideas change, they evolve and sometimes they don't even do that... they just differ. We're gods among men, as Nick usually puts it, and we've been for quite a while now... and finally, it looks like it's beginning to affect us. And I mean affect us like... it's beginning to just happen to us, not like it's messing with us or anything because it isn't like it, but I mean the fact that our ideas in regards to the band and the music and etcetera are beginning to shift more than before, to evolve more than before, and that's healthy and that was expected, always expected, I guess... so I don't fear, not at all. We're all best friends, we'll get by; we'd done it before, so what should change now?

We have a couple more presentations before December. Stuff on radios, a couple of TV programs, all simple.

We also have our talk, by the way, the one regarding the future album and stuff. We want to get together now, have a conversation about it... all simple.