Date Night Stories

Curse Or Gift

I can barely remember how many years had passed since my death. It all seemed like a blur and I don't know if I can consider this a curse or a gift.

I remember dying in a car accident right before my 30th birthday. It's crazy that everyday, we don't even realize how it will all change.

How we will die, when will we die or why did we die. I didn't know that I would die doing something I avoided all my life. Driving. It took me 5 years to get my license and my wife always encouraged me to give it a try. We used to live in the city so I didn't feel the need to worry about getting a car because we used the train to take us to places.

But after we got married and decided that we will settle down, my lovely wife suggested we moved back to our hometown. Houses were far from the town and we really needed to have a car to get us to places.

I only spent 10 years of my life here before I followed my mom after the divorce so I never got to experience driving on my own. I loved the city and I knew city like the back of my hand, I memorized every street and every convenient store around my area. I was used to the tiny, crammed places with people just passing you by with how busy life is.

My wife, however, grew up here and only moved to the city after college. She landed a job at my company and our love blossomed from there. She was your typical clumsy secretary, but she was headstrong and confident. And I loved that about her. I remember being her team lead in one of the projects she was working on and those many late nights together made me fall for her hard.

The way her hair cascaded down her back and her beautiful green eyes always looking at you as if you're the only person she's listening to. She had her way with people, she just captures your attention. Even after 6 years together, she still have that effect on me.

She was sweet and loving, she was always happy and she felt like home. We moved in together a couple months after dating and we never spent a day apart ever since. My wife and I, we had our tough moments. We almost never made it through but we did. We made it work with what we had. She was and is my life and I couldn't and I still can't imagine a life without her.

I may not have done a great job, explaining who my wife is to me. But she's my entire world and I am unable to function without her. She just knows me and she's my person. She's the loveliest human being you will ever meet. She is honest and confident, she is the light in every room she walks into and she completes me. She's like a warm hug during the coldest winter days. She's like a roof that keeps you dry during the rainy season. She's the bed you snuggle into after a long stressful day at work. She was my source of comfort.

That's why, when I was laying on the roadside, I begged to whoever was listening to give me another chance. I was driving on the freeway for the second time and I lost control of the car. It was raining and I didn't handle it well, I crashed and before I knew it, I was dead. I was dead before anyone found me.

I laid there, rain beating down my bloody body, our new car totalled and the groceries I gotten, were all over the backseat and the baby formula I carefully chosen for our 4 month old, spilled on the seats.

I prayed. I didn't believe in God but I prayed to whoever will listen. I used the last moments I had on Earth, to give me more time with my family. My wife was home, probably worried sick about me. It takes almost an hour to get to town one way and I've been away for so much more. After so many miscarriages, we were finally blessed with a beautiful baby girl and I love her so very much and I want to be present in her life.

To be there when she speaks her first word, her first steps, her first solid food, her first day at school and her first everything. I didn't want her to grow up without a father. I wanted to be her protector. I wanted to be around.

My beautiful wife, she cannot go through all this alone. She deserves better than that. I'm supposed to be her companion and leaving so soon, just seems so cruel. I want to watch her in the bathroom as she flosses her teeth diligently, I want to watch her in the kitchen as she stirs the soup a little too excessively. I want to watch her freak out about her first grey hair. I want to watch her lather her legs up with lotion and watch her put on the most hideous socks she refuses to replace..

I want to watch her grow old and I want to watch her grow with me and our daughter. I want to hold her hands in the dark when she's terrified and I want to hold her in my arms as we drift off.

They say your life flashes before your eyes right as you're dying and it's true. My wife and my daughter were the last thing I saw before everything turned black.

And maybe someone listened to me. Because when I woke up, I was in bed. Our bed. My beautiful wife was in my arms, her right leg between my thighs and her tiny frame rested against my side. I could see our daughter in her crib, sleeping soundly on her stomach.

I was confused, maybe it was a dream. I remembered it all too clearly.

And life passed me by. That dream taught me to be more present and to appreciate every little moments I had with my family. And in a way, it really helped a lot. Despite having some arguments, my wife and I had a wonderful marriage and we lived a long life together. I never aged and I watched my daughter grow and have her own family. I watched her fulfill her dreams and be the person she wanted to be. And I was happy to have witnessed all that.

Near the end of my wife's life, she lived upto her 90s, she was still the same woman I fell in love with. So much had changed but her beautiful eyes still warmed my soul. And even if I was given a choice to relive this life, I wouldn't have chosen differently. I would spend this life and the next with her.

It was painful to bury my wife. It was painful to be alone. It was painful to not have her in my arms as I fall asleep. Even after the many deaths I've experienced in my long life on Earth, this was the most painful thing I've ever felt. I lost a part of myself when my love passed.

It hurt too when my daughter passed before I did. And when my grandchildren passed and when their grandchildren passed. And so on. I've been around for so long, I've forgotten how many generations I've encountered.

I thought reincarnation existed and I waited and searched for my wife but I could never find her. I had a family decades later and my new family also passed one by one. It was heartbreaking. So I stayed away from it. It was hard. It was extremely lonely.

I don't know how old I am and I don't know if I made the right decision, choosing to keep living when I could have just died. But it brings me comfort that I got to watch my daughter grow up. It brings me comfort that I was with my wife till death. I am thankful for the experiences I've had but this life is not a gift. It's a curse for wanting more than what I was given.

My time on Earth was limited, 29 years and 11 months was all I had. 6 and a half years with my wife. My time was limited. But I needed more time with my wife. And that horrible socks she refused to throw. I kept them. Even after centuries had passed. It was one of the few things I managed to preserve. I don't know how long I'll be on this Earth. I don't know for how long I will be alive. It's a curse to live this long and be left behind by those you love. It's a curse to be this lonely. But it was definitely a gift that I got to spend a lifetime with my soulmate. And even though my memory have faded quite a bit. I still remember the way her hair cascaded down her back. The way she flosses her teeth, the way she stirs everything she cooks, the way she feels against me, the way she looked at me, the way she loved me.

I can no longer smell her scent in the clothes I kept of her. They were fragile now after the years had passed and smelled nothing like her. I can't even purchase the perfume she uses because it doesn't exist anymore. I faintly remember her voice. She doesn't sing very well but she had the most calming voice. I wish we had recorders back then and I wish I managed to keep a part of her.

I miss her dearly and I wish I can follow her wherever she is. It's been lonely not having her around.