Guinevere's Grail | ✓ [BOOK 2]

~ 34 ~

"YOU AREN'T GOING TO tell me, I know you're not," Kit said with a dejected sigh. It was worrying, how determined she was not to tell him how to extract the shard from Lionel. That either meant she didn't like the answer herself, or she had no idea. Or both. Either way, it was dangerous. "You don't want Connor to hear, I get it. But at least tell someone else."

Sera kept silent as the wind blew across the shore, jaw set in stubborn rebellion. She was always secretive, but when he knew her, she was gentle. Something happened since then that made her cold, and Kit didn't expect having a child to do that to her.

"Listen, I'm sorry I knocked you up," he said, hoping he finally caught her attention. "I would've cared for him if I knew."

"I didn't want you to."

"Why?"

"Because the kind of man that's immature enough to knock up a maid is not fit to be a father," she told him sternly, and he sucked in a breath. "The only reason I was is because I've raised children before. I grew up too fast, Kit, and unfortunately Lionel will, too."

"It didn't have to be that way," he said. "Back then I still had my mother. I had Selene, I had Herwerde, they would've helped me."

"And they would've judged me."

Kit bowed his head. "Not my mother."

"You're only saying that because you idolize her."

"I'm saying it because she's like you."

That shut her up. He could feel her frigid dark eyes on him, even without his sight, and he did his best to look her way.

"I'm not a Pendragon," he said. "No one really said anything official because it'd mean my mother's execution, but we all knew. I was her Lionel."

"Oh," said Sera softly, tone far gentler than he was used to. "I'm sorry."

Kit dug as his palm. "She would've helped you, Sera. But I'm sorry I put you in this situation, one way or another."

"Don't beat yourself up," she murmured. "My life was never going to be easy from the start. I was raised in Fells, you know. You don't get to have it easy there."

Kit knew she really meant "here." He wasn't an idiot, he knew where they were. He just had to hope Connor didn't catch on with him.

He kicked a pebble with his toe. "I guess I should get some rest. You might do well to sleep, too."

Sera shivered, and he could hear the rustling of her clothes as she turned away. "You're right," she told him. "Good talk. Goodbye, Kristofer."

Goodbye. Such a strange choice of word.

"Goodnight," he told her, and he stood there until she was gone, leaving him alone on the sand. He stood there for a long while, until Morgana came for him and led him back to the room.

Eurion and Chalice greeted him when he entered, and he nodded their way as accurately as he could. He was sat down onto the bed, and he could hear quiet movements more acutely than he'd heard them before.

"Move over," Morgana demanded after awhile, and Kit obeyed, laying down and sliding close to the wall.

The faery crawled in after him, attaching himself to his side right away and tucking his face in his neck. It felt nice, but it was strange. Usually Morgana made sure no one could see them wrapped up in each other, so Kit took his arm and fixed him with a look of confusion.

"They know," was all Morgana said, and he didn't know whether to consider it an improvement or not. Either way, it gave him the confidence to wrap his arms around his thin frame, holding him to his chest until their hearts beat against each other in a steady rhythm.