Harley Diaries (Harley's story)

Nineteen

"Can I tell you a story, Harleen?" His meaty hands balancing little me on his lap, I'm smiling at him, my blonde low pigtails hitting my shoulders, brushing against my collarbone.

"Of course, Papa." 

"There once was a little princess beautiful as ever, she was always treated with respect and love by her parents. She always wanted love from someone else though. Beautiful as can be, many boys would chase after her with flowers and chocolates, but she only had her eyes on one boy. A boy she would never end up with. But when she finally does, he barely gives his love back. They would fight, then make up, then fought again. Continuous until they gave up on each other. Both saddened, but knowing deep down that they still have a family to raise, a family that brought them together once more before departing them again."

"That's a sad story, Papa." I remember frowning after that story, staring at his angered eyes. 

The memory ended and I placed the picture frame down back on the end table. The picture of me sitting on Papa's lap, smiling ear to ear. Him barely showing a smile, but raising a bottle of beer towards the camera. I frowned at it, he was such an awful father. Anything for a pack of beer, including selling your daughter for one. I still haven't figured out if the story he told had to do with him and Ma. Or it was a sneaky thing to warn me about my relationship with J. I'm assuming he was talking about Ma, they did marry young and had me and my siblings. They divorced not long after my 12th birthday. 

"So how's that doctor job, Harleen?" Papa's voice says behind me on the attached sofa to the wall, the tight space giving me claustrophobia. Beer bottles everywhere including trash and dirty clothes. 

"Haven't you even seen the news? Or maybe have seen my look? I'm not a doctor anymore, Papa." I said I turned to face him.

I hate you, Papa. Always and forever on. Papa's silent of course.

"Or have you been too drunk to realize that I look like a god damn clown and not a doctor?"

"Harleen-"

"Oh shut it!" I gasped out, "I thought you changed. But you're still part of those gangs and drinking like it could magically save your life. Now you're living in an RV!" I'm throwing my hands around, his eyes slowly moving around and following them.

I snapped at his face, to get his attention to my voice. "God, I'm done, I'm gonna go see Ma." I grabbed my purse from the floor.

"That b***h?" He chuckled.

"Well that b***h raised me like a normal parent unlike you." I said walking away from him about to open the door, then I decided to drop the bomb, "Oh and you're a grandfather by the way, in case you wanted to care a little." His jaw dropped, he was about to open his mouth to speak, but that was when I had stepped off the RV in anger, my phone chiming with text messages and missed calls from J. The next call coming in as soon as I pulled it out of the purse.

I answered;

"Yeah, J?"

"Your mother is at your place with Lucy and I."

"Oh jesus, when did she get there?"

"About ten minutes ago. What took you so long to answer?"

"Don't worry about it, I had to do something real quick."

"O-Okay, well get back soon. It's a bit awkward here."

"I'll  be there soon, I promise."

"Okay, bye, Harls."

"Bye." Then I hung up and placed my phone inside my purse.

--------------------

"What were you even doing there in the first place, Harleen?" Ma asked, concerned as hell.

I held some tears back, "I just wanted to see if he changed, Mama." Then the tears started rolling.

"Honey, I'm so sorry it ended that way." She said as she wiped my cheeks with her thumb. 

"I really thought I could relive my past and trust my heart that he's a different man." I slumped on the couch, rubbing my head with my palms, J watches with saddened eyes, afraid to ruin this moment with Ma and I.

"Joker, why don't you comfort her while I make some tea?" She's gotten used to him being over to help.

"Yes, ma'am." He slid over to me and hugged me, I hugged him back and sobbed more. I'm tired of fighting for feeling loved. So exhausted.

"You smell nice." I whispered.

He chuckled as we laid close, him whispering "Ssh, it'll be okay. I'm here. I'm here."

But that's when sirens of Gotham began going off, Ma jumps out into the living room. We all look at each other, thinking the same thing. This must be serious because those sirens haven't went off since five years ago when J and I had blown up Gotham Center with a giant timed bomb. Little did we know that big trouble was heading throughout Gotham in our direction.