unexpected feelings | marichat

chapter thirty-one

adrien's pov
   i sat at my piano, playing random tunes that came to my mind. i wasn't very sure whether i was making them up or using snippets of songs, but the distraction was welcome. plagg, however, occasionally made faces from the small pillow he lazed on in front of me. i narrowed my eyes at him, wondering what made him so annoyed.
   "what?" i asked him, and he sighed dramatically.
   "ugh, adrien, do you not see it? you're sitting there like a sad, love-sick puppy- or should i say, kitty- and playing those awful, sappy tunes you make up. it's taking away my appetite! why can't you just be honest with yourself?"
   i gaped at him. "honest with myself? plagg, what are you even-"
   "yes, honest! do you really not see it?" i shook my head dumbly, and plagg crossed his arms across his tiny body. "kwami can feel what their owners are feeling when in the suit. do you know what i felt coming from you while in there? LOVE, ADRIEN. i'm glad you don't voice half the stuff that's in your head aloud, because you would have given marinette a heart attack. you do let out a good chunk of it, though. speaking of which, you also slipped up in the end of your little speech. 'i lo- I MEAN APPRECIATE YOU', come on adrien? could you be anymore obvious?" i felt my face heat up and i put my head in my hands, causing the piano to make an awful noise as i hit a ton of keys with my elbows.
   "did i really almost say that?" plagg nodded, and i groaned. "i didn't mean to almost say that. i was just, caught up in the moment."
   "but you did mean it, adrien. that's why i'm telling you, you need to stop lying to yourself!"
   i paused. okay, so maybe i did mean it, but what difference did it make? "okay, well, supposing that i DID, how would marinette react? she's with luka now, haven't you seen the way she looks at him?"
   "do you just refuse to see how she looks at you? she looks at you the way i can imagine i look at camembert."
"stop it, plagg. marinette is over me. i shouldn't interfere with that."
"ah, but she doesn't know you're chat noir, soooo..."
i considered it. he wasn't wrong. still, i shook my head. "so i'll leave her alone romantically as chat, too. she's already been rejected by him once, and she was so sad..." i cringed at the memory, glad that was in the past. i would never cause marinette pain like that again. plagg narrowed his cat-like eyes at me.
"fine. don't go after her. it's not like we've been over this a gazillion times, each with you making the same conclusion. just ignore the way you both give each other kissy faces and keep playing the piano like a heartbroken singer. don't come complaining when it's too late to have her!" he warned, angrily fluttering off to a drawer and mumbling as he left.
   i sighed at his dramatics. he really ought to enroll at juilliard, i bet they'd love the clamoring magical creature.
still, he wasn't fully wrong. dancing with marinette once again... it was wonderful. it was hard to deny the butterflies i felt around her, and even harder to pretend that my stomach didn't knot up when i saw her with luka. which made no sense, since it was my fault for not making a move before it was too late. luka isn't even a bad guy, you should be happy for her! i sighed. i was just, too...
   "you were DENSE adrien!" plagg's voice pestered inside my head. i sighed. he was even narrating my thoughts now. wonderful.
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"ladybug! chat noir! you guys always save the city, but it seems to get harder each day. is there more pressure on you now that you've failed once?"
"chat noir! ladybug!! how much longer must we live in the claws of hawkmoth?"
"ladybug!! is it true that you and chat noir have gotten secretly engaged?"
ladybug snorted at the last one, making sure to steer clear of the reporters. the akuma battle had been trickier today, but only because the amount of cameras and reporters interfering was insane. it seemed like they no longer realized how dangerous it was to stand in the middle of a fight, even with every piece of debris coming dangerously close to decapitating people.
i led ladybug and i to the top of the eiffel tower, where we both finally sat down on the railing. i looked at her as she looked into the distance. engaged. ha, yeah right. because it's not like she's mentioned countless times that we aren't a couple. and it's not like im supposed to be getting over her, even if some days it's becoming harder than others.
"i can't believe they think we're engaged," she laughed, finally turning to look at me. still, there was strain in her laughter, and the sparkle in her eyes finally gave way to a worried frown. "still... them throwing themselves in the middle of the battle just to get 'exclusive scoops', it's stressing me out. it's not like it happens often, but when it does..." she looked off once again, and i put a hand on her shoulder. she smiled at the comfort before continuing.
"what if one of them gets hurt? what if we can't save them, or undo the effects of the akuma on time? hawkmoth could easily use them as bait, can't he? it's just-"
i shushed her, seeing that she was nowhere near done ranting but was getting dangerously close to falling off the beam we sat on. "m'lady, don't worry so much. you always find a way to fix things, even when they seem unfixable."
   "but what if i don't find a way? what if the same thing that happened when we went to new york happens again? what then, chat? hawkmoth seems to be using the peacock miraculous now, and it's becoming harder to fight while defending civilians in the way," she said in a nearly pleading voice. i ignored the guilt that stirred inside me as she mentioned new york. she looked so stressed, so desperate for an answer. this guardian/ ladybug thing was really getting to her, and it made my heart clench.
   "don't think like that, ladybug. yes, we've made mistakes, but thinking about them won't make anything better. and thinking of anything that could go wrong won't stop it from going wrong. besides, in the rare occasion that something does happen, you've got me. us against the world, right?"
   the corners of her mouth quirked up into a small smile. "right."
   "see? there's nothing to worry about then. nobody can beat the unstoppable cat and bug team."
   "you mean the bug and cat team?"
   "no, i'm pretty sure i meant the cat and bug team."
   she rolled her eyes, scooting closer to me. my eyes widened a bit when she put her head on my shoulder, with no further explanation as to why she was doing so. i tentatively lay mine on top of hers, wondering what suddenly came upon her.
   not that i was complaining, obviously.

(a/n: i know this is technically a marichat fic but look at ladynoir my beloved)