Jisoo's POV.
My body was crammed into a ball against the front door, my arms were locked around my legs keeping me in place. My face was pressed into my knees as the sadness crippled me. Tears sizzled down my hot cheeks acting as a constant remembrance of all the mistakes I've made recently.
I felt as if I could cry for days on end and the sadness still wouldn't cease. Even if I cried for a hundred years my pain couldn't compare to the hurt that I intentionally brought on the two men who I cared about.
I started to wonder what Suho was doing at that very moment. When he was leaving he made it pretty clear that he was done with me but I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't help but hold on tightly to the shred of hope that Suho and I would be able to fix what I broke. If I knew Suho at all, I'd bet he was somewhere mourning our relationship. I was tempted to pick up the phone and call him, if only to hear his voice but I felt like I had no right. If he wanted to talk to me that should be his choice. I can't force him to forgive me.
A part of me wondered what Lisa was up to. Half of me suspected that she was drowning in her sorrows with one of the many women in her black book while the other part believed that just maybe she was alone feeling as down on her luck as I did.
I started thinking back to the night Suho and I decided to go to Madame X. I wondered if our marriage would've taken an entirely different path if we hadn't gone.
Would we have eventually started seeing a marriage counselor? Would we have talked about our issues? Was the real issue in our marriage just that I wasn't sexually satisfied or was it the fact that Suho cared more for his career than me? I didn't wholly believe he did but his lack of fight led me to that conclusion. Would Suho have stopped working so long and so often if he knew that Lisa had the ability to jeopardize our marriage?
I felt my phone vibrating in the palm of my hand but my reaction was delayed. When I eventually glanced down I saw Lisa's name on the screen of my phone, my heart stuttered.
I didn't know if I should answer. Part of the reason I was in this mess right now was because of my inability to pull away from Lisa. If I answered her phone call would she somehow manage to once again reel me back into her world? I didn't want to find out.
I turned my phone on its face and inched away from it like my phone had contracted the Ebola virus.
I exhaled a big breath when the phone stopped vibrating.
My chest pumped spastically when my phone started to vibrating again. I reached over and flipped the phone over and I saw Lisa's name.
Why was she calling me so persistently? Was there an emergency? Or was she just desperate to talk to me?
I bet she just wanted to talk. I moved even further away from the vibrating device.
My phone started a continuous cycle of vibrating and then a brief pause before vibrating again.
It worried me that I had seven missed calls all from Lisa. Just as I was about to send my phone flying in the opposite direction it started to vibrate again.
Eight calls back to back qualified as an emergency right?
Reluctantly, I pressed the answer button and held the phone against my ear. I breathed slowly trying to catch my breath before I spoke.
"Hello?" I answered timidly.
"I'm so sorry to bother you Jisoo but it's an emergency." The voice didn't belong to Lisa but it was familiar so I listened as the female voice spoke. "It's Jennie I don't know if you remember me or not..."
"....I remember you. What's the emergency?" The urgency in her voice scared me.
"Lisa is here at my club acting crazy. She's starting fights and making a fool of herself. No one has called the cops yet but if you don't come down here right now she could be sleeping in a cell tonight."
"I can't Jennie. It's not my place."
"She asked for you. You're the only one who can talk some sense into her. Please. She's my friend. I can't let her go to jail."
I couldn't stop myself from thinking this was some sort of stunt Lisa was pulling so that I would come see her. I needed to practice a little self-control when it came to her. If this affair was officially over I couldn't be at her beckon call.
"Can you put her on the phone?" I asked Jennie.
There was several seconds of silence as Jennie passed the phone to Lisa.
"I know what you're doing Lisa. It's not going to work this time."
"Where is he Jisoo?" Lisa asked brusquely.
"Who?"
"The end-all and be-all. Your husband. Is he with you right now, fighting? Or, did he leave you like a fucking coward?"
"I lied and cheated for weeks. How can I expect him to want to fight for me after that kind of betrayal?"
"Love allows for forgiveness. If he loved you as much as I do he'd be able to forgive you."
I shook my head despite the fact that she couldn't see me. "You don't understand."
A hard knock at my front door startled me. I stood to unlock the door.
Lisa, standing in my doorway knocked all of the air out of my lungs.
"Here I am, Jisoo. Right here with you and I'm ready to fight for as long as I have to because I love you."
Lisa stepped over the threshold. She captured my face between her hands and merely stared into my eyes as she breathed a restorative breath.
"I missed you."
I was at a loss for words. I didn't know what she was doing here. I wasn't changing my mind. I couldn't; but somehow my heart was saying something completely different. My heart actually wanted to embrace her and not let go, give her some physical sign that what we shared was special and couldn't be mocked.
"After you left I got to thinking and I realized that I cannot let you go. You told me not to be a coward. You told me to fight for the woman I love. Jisoo, I'm madly in love with you. I will fight and I won't stop fighting. I love you. I love you so much."
"I don't think youlove him not anymore. You say you do all of the time but only because you'retrying so hard to convince yourself. The truth is you're just comfortable beingmarried to him because he's safe. You care about him just enough to make livingwith him bearable. You're not the same person you were when you married him.He's in love with the woman you once were. I'm in love with the woman you areright now. We don't know a lot about each other but I'm willing to beteverything I have on you and I. Will you meet me half way?"
