Jisoo's POV.
"What are you doing?" Sehun asks me.
I shrug because I honestly had no idea what I'm doing. I'm trying my damnedest to make the right decisions from here on out but I'm not sure what's right and what's wrong anymore. I'm not even sure what I want beyond Lisa.
What I want always seems to be in constant conflict with what's right. I was wrong for being unfaithful. I was wrong for falling for Lisa. I was wrong for walking out on Taejoon. How do I make the right decisions when what I want is wrong?
"I don't know Sehun." I say defeated, letting my shoulders rest against the wall. "Everything I've done recently has been wrong and I don't know how to make it right."
"Don't worry so much about what's right and wrong. Follow your heart. Listen to your gut."
"I have."
"Then what's the problem?"
"My family's going to judge me."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I judge myself."
"Who cares if they judge you? Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. You can't run from this."
"When have I ever ran?"
"You ran from Gyeonggi. You ran from Suho and now you're running from her." He says gesturing toward the door where Lisa was. "You love her, right? You ripped your life apart to be with her."
"I need time to think but she won't give me that."
"Have you asked her for time?"
"Yes, but she doesn't hear me."
"Make her hear you. She's a fighter and you're a runner."
I let that sink in.
"She's fighting for you and you're running away. She's suffocating you because she's afraid of losing you."
"How do you know that?"
"That's what she's been doing this entire time." I suddenly felt idiotic.
She's fighting and I'm running.
"Why are you running?" Sehun asks brushing my hair out of my face.
"I feel guilty." I admitted "I'm so happy that I feel guilty. I destroyed the both of them. I don't deserve to be happy."
"Suho isn't a victim. He knew what was going on and he ignored it. That's his mistake and he's paying for it. He'll be fine." My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes. "Give me a hug."
"I love you so much." I tell him holding him too tight.
I felt so grateful to have Sehun in my life. Every goddamn time he made sense of the clusterfuck that was my actions.
It was all starting to come together like the plot line of an incredible story. I've always worried about what everyone thought of me my father, my brother, Suho and ignoring what truly mattered. I love Lisa. I fought it with everything I had while she fought for me. Even though we were together I still fought because of the guilt. I don't deserve Suho or Lisa but I had them. I still have Lisa. Fighting her makes me feel less guilty but it's hurting her. I don't want to hurt the person I love anymore.
"I love you too. Be honest with her. Call me when you get back from Gyeonggi. We'll have a drink."
I nodded.
Wiping the tears from my face, I used my key card to open the door. I was met by Lisa who wore a somber expression. God she was so beautiful. I still couldn't fathom this woman wanting to be with me especially considering my behavior recently. She should be repulsed because I am.
