One Helluva Höllenhund

Business Bullshit

Imp City. A festering growth of crime, gambling, and questionable activities. In a certain tower, on a certain floor, one of the many companies that reside in the building is having a business meeting.

"Alright now I know business has been a bit, slow, lately, yes it's no-ones fault! Okay, I'm not naming any names here... Moxxie"

This is Blitz. He's the boss, the manager, the mastermind behind it all. He rules his business with crude humour and an equally haughty personality.

The Imp giving Blitz a"what the fuck?" look is Moxxie. He's the only sane person in the company and is also the weapons expert. What's sets him apart from everyone else is his rather refined and dignified personality.

"Now does anyone have, ANY bright ideas on how we can get things drummin' up again?"

"What. About. A car wash?"

That's Millie. She's the main fighting force and the most brutal assassin. She takes her job very seriously but isn't afraid to take things lightly. She's also Moxxie's wife. While Moxxie specializes in guns, Millie's forte lies in melee weapons.

"This is hell Millie, no one cares about cars being clean here!"

"Yeah, probably... Maybe a car commercial? We could rent out the van"

Here's Jaeger! His job in the company is to repair the tools the company uses and to invent new ones. In other words, he alone is the company's R&D Department. While he appears stoic, his humour almost matches Blitz. He's also a major Junkie.

*le gasp* "Jaeger! Rent?! My beautiful van?!? You are out of line! I'm cutting your salary this month!"

Blitz immediately gets super protective of the company van, treating it as if it was a baby van transformer

"What, from a couple dollars to a few quarters and a dime?"

"Shut it, Jaeger! You're disrupting the meeting! Hmm... maybe a billboard!"

"We can't afford a billboard, sir"

Blitz saunters over to Moxxie and wraps an arm around the shorter imp's shoulders.

"Helpful, Moxxie, really glad you're in the room right now.*shoves Moxxie away* Have you guys forgotten what kind of service we provide?"

Blitz then turns on a TV, showing a montage of Blitz beating a human up with a spiked mace, Moxxie shooting one tied to a chair with a double-barrel, Loona ripping one's throat out, Millie Decapitating one with a spear, and Jaeger waterboarding another

Loona is the company's receptionist. She's a hellhound, like Jaeger, and is almost always on her phone. She's kind of goth and does not take shit from anybody. She barely pays attention in these types of meetings and doesn't speak up unless provoked.

"Ah, those were the good times~"

"I don't need any reminding sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week! one that you additionally paid to have run for three full hours on a channel nobody watches!"

"Hey, excuse me, what's obnoxious about a super fun jingle, all right? it's a fun distraction when an advertisement spits bullshit!"

"People love musicals"

"Exactly, Millie! and we're basically, *Jazz hands intensify* doing a musical! are you going to crush my musical theatre dreams as my dad did?"

"Sir-"

"Because right now, all I see is my dad's asshole talking to me, crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside!"

Blitz cries into his arm but is faking it. Millie leans over to Moxxie and sticks her tongue out.