Matchablossom

Binder

Trans Kaoru because I'm allowed to project

Trigger Warning: intentional over binding and dysphoria

Cherry/Kaoru PoV

Just a few more hours. 

That's what I told myself anyway. Just a few more hours and then I'll take it off. It doesn't hurt anymore, not like it used to. 

A knock came from my door before swinging open to reveal Kojiro standing in my doorway, leaning against the frame. I barely got enough time to put on my shirt, before being interrupted. I glared over at him, which he just responded with his smirk. 

Kojiro was my best friend and even though he knows I wear my binder, he'll flip if he sees that I'm still wearing it. When we got back from school he told me to take it off so I don't strain myself. I didn't want to worry him, not anymore. I didn't want him to see the growing bruises, the way it hurt to skateboard for too long even though I loved it. I didn't want to give up my binder as in return I'll only get a wave of dysphoria and negative thoughts. 

"Cherry, I know I'm handsome but you've been staring at me for a few minutes and you seem completely lost." Kojiro commented snapping my out of my thoughts. I felt myself turn red as I turned away from him. 

"I was just- doesn't matter, are we leaving or what?" I grabbed my jacket and skateboard, turning back to Kojiro. I hated how he made me stumble over my words and make my mind blank. It's not like a crush, he's just, him. 

"Yeah, Adam said he wanted to show us something, I think he bought a new board, he's been ecstatic all day." Kojiro, or Joe as he went by when skating, explained leading the way out of my house and down the street. Half way down the street, we both hopped onto our boards, skating the rest of the way to our meeting point. I couldn't help but watch Joe as we skated. His green hair seemed perfect in the blowing wind, the way he could open his shirt and be confident, everything about him, I liked. 

The tight feeling in my chest bought me back to reality, it sent a sharp shooting pain through my chest, almost making me collapse. I managed to keep my balance and play it off before Joe could notice. 

Soon enough, we were at the meeting point and Adam was already standing there, he was sitting on the railing, his hood up covering his blue hair. There was a smirk on his face, and as he noticed us he jumped down from the railing. He waved us over and I stopped my board in front of him. 

"Hey Adam." I smiled hopping off my board. I tried my hair up quickly, knowing we would most likely be running from others. Most likely police. "Joe said you have something to show us." 

Adam nodded and jumped onto his board. "I found a new skate park, it's pretty remote and quiet but the jumps are insane." He looked proud of himself, which I could honestly understand. It was hard to find good skate parks around the city, so finding a new one was always a plus. 

"Yeah let's go." Adam lead the way to the park, followed by me and Joe. The more we skated, the harder it was for me to breathe, I tried to take deep breaths but it was getting almost impossible. I wanted to call out for Joe, or even Adam, but Joe would flip and Adam would most likely get mad. It was getting harder for him to sneak out of his house, so skating was important to him. 

"Cherry?" I heard my name being called, I looked up to see Joe holding the side of my arms, stopping my board. I noticed we were close to a forest, far away from the city, I don't even know how I managed to get here without crashing into something. Muscle memory I guess. 

"I'm fine." I mumbled pushing Joe's hands off my arm gently, I gave him a reassuring smile and he seemed to be convinced as he followed Adam into the forest. Taking a deep, easier breath, I followed the two into an old abandoned mine. 

It was a spiral going down, with a large hole in the middle of the course, it looked dangerous but none of us minded, we all were looking for more extreme courses. In the distance I was an old abandoned building, most likely a factory. 

"Holy shit Adam this place is amazing." I smiled skating down to a ledge, I looked down the gap, anxiety gripping me. It was filled with rocks and sharp ledges, all of which could easily injure or kill someone. "Dangerous, but amazing." I added. I felt hands on my arms and I was jolted forward. I screamed and turned around to see Adam smirking down at me. 

I slapped the side of his arm, shoving him away from me. He laughed at me, but I couldn't help but smirk slightly. He could be an asshole but he wouldn't actually kill me. Probably. 

"Come on that was funny." Adam smiled, as I put my head on Joe's chest. Joe wrapped his arms around me, and I saw him glare at Adam. "Can we just go skate?" Adam asked, sliding my board over to me. I grabbed up and followed Adam down to a smaller skate area at the bottom of the factory. 

As the sun started to rise, we were all exhausted but we were having a good time. The sharp pain in my chest had gotten worse but I promised myself that I would only do one more jump then I'd stop. 

I faced one of the larger jumps, it was over a large ditch, with smaller rocks in it, so a fall would been painful, but at least no breaks. Taking a painful deep breath I launched forward, doing a simple jump over the ditch. It wasn't much or flashy but it was safe, I was still a bit unsure about the location. 

I landed hard, my board sliding from under me, however I still managed to keep most of my balance. I skated around a corner, out of the sight of Joe and Adam, so they couldn't see me. I crouched down onto my skate, rubbing my chest. It was burning, as if my chest was collapsing into itself. 

"Cherry, are you okay?" I heard someone ask. I couldn't tell if it was Joe or Adam, the world was spinning and blurry. Looking up I saw a familiar green color, crouching or sitting down next to me, I couldn't tell. 

I tried to nod but everything hurt. 

"Take it off." Joe told me, as I looked at him, confused of how he knew. "I know you're wearing it, take it off. You've been wearing it for over ten hours and you've been skating with it on. You need to take it off before you permanently ruin your ribs." 

I didn't feel like arguing, not like I had the strength or breath to argue anyway. I reached under up shirt and unclipped the binder, taking a deep breath. The air felt nice in my lungs and it was good on my lungs. 

I could already feel the dysphoria creeping in but at that point I didn't care. My ribs felt free. 

"Cherry, you need to look after yourself" Joe chastised, sitting down next to me, I grumbled in response, leaning onto his shoulder. "Promise me you won't over bind on purpose again?" 

"I promise.." I lied.