SOUL SAP

Pet Sematary on Ice

I was about eight when a hummingbird met its demise while flying five hundred miles an hour into our kitchen window. My mom found it about a week later and presented it to me in a small jewelry box like it was a Cartier pendant. I stared at this beautiful thing with iridescent wings, and it was the most spectacular tiny being I had ever seen.

Usually hummingbirds fly so quickly, they look like blurry fairies you know you'll never catch. When you see one laying in a jewelry box on a square of gauzy cotton, it's not hard to imagine little eyes made out of emeralds twinkling back at you.

But where the emeralds were supposed to be were in fact two vacant holes ... because it was a dead bird.

"We need to bury it!", I screamed with tears flooding off my face like a fire hose.
My mom looked lovingly down at the jewelry box, now starting to smell badly. "Yes ... you are right. But I can't now, so can you dig a hole and take care of it? Make sure it's deep so no critters dig it up."

"ME?! Ummm ... I can't either. Because ... I have to ride my bike up to Lori's house to give her a very important Barbie. She's been asking me about it ... like NONSTOP. Seriously, Mom. It's been like so annoying."

Sigh. "OK, put it in the freezer until we have time to bury it properly."

For some reason no one had time that moment to bury something the size of a thimble.

I blinked several times before questioning my mom. "Y-you mean the freezer in the kitchen? With the Hot Pockets?"
"No, no. We don't want to alarm your father. Put it in a plastic bag and hide it in the garage freezer ... away from the Totino's Pizzas. We don't want to freak out your brother either."

This made sense. And just like that, my mom and I had a weird little secret. What I didn't know is that the hummingbird wouldn't be the last dead body we'd place in the garage freezer.

A few weeks later, a squirrel joined the hummingbird. By now, the hummingbird had white frost inhabiting its eye sockets, making it look blind. Which I guess it was. The giant grey squirrel was harder to hide, so I shoved it in the way back by forgotten beef suffering from freezer burn.

We remained too busy to bury our dead.

Our calico cat Callie was indoor/outdoor and since we lived out in the country, she became quite the hunter. Into the freezer went dead mice, blue birds, and eventually a baby opossum joined the growing mausoleum of unfortunate souls.

Due to the sheer volume of carcasses starting to infringe on the wild caught salmon and Jimmy Dean sausage links, the jig was up.

"What the HELL?!"

My mom and I looked at each other.

Dad came in from the garage, looking understandably distraught. He stood there, all 6'3" of him, with his arms crossed and he exhibited a giant crease between his eyeballs. I guess he's also confused? Of course he's confused. Don't normalize the fact that you have dead animals in your freezer, I told myself.

His frosty beer mug must have become uncomfortable to hold because he slammed it down on the table without taking his eyes off of us. "Do you want to explain why there is a dead squirrel in the freezer?"

"Oh, the SQUIRREL. Yes. We put the squirrel in there because we wanted to bury it, but we didn't have time. We'll bury it. Today."

How did he not notice the rest of the frozen fauna?

My mom and I exchanged looks, and nervously we both exited into the garage. I grabbed a tall kitchen bag and she started shoveling the animals in ... periodically jolting her head up at the door whenever she heard a noise. That afternoon, I dug a very shallow grave, because I was very tired, and dumped all the bodies in carelessly.