The Fire Inside (Sebastian Vettel)

1. Stabbed in the Back

Seb kept looking but he never touched. He never even spoke to the girl again.  So maybe his eyes followed her butt as she passed him. So maybe he looked at her chest when he was wearing dark glasses. She was his guilty pleasure.

He had to have something to enjoy because he certainly wasn't enjoying his home life. It wasn't his girls, they were the light of his life. It was their mother. Nag, nag, nag, constantly. She was always going out and when she was in she didn't pay him the slightest bit of attention. Even the bedroom action had dried up and he had to resort to a bit of self love when he felt the need.

If his home life was shit, his professional life was just as bad. He'd been right to mistrust Binotto. He knew Binotto wanted him out. Charles was Mattia's golden boy, the future of Ferrari. Life at the Scuderia just wasn't the same anymore. The whole season was just a nightmare and it ended with him having just the one win, in Singapore, to his name.

The last night in Abu Dhabi he felt lost. He wanted to see his girls, but he didn't want to go home. He decided to have a drink in the hotel bar before heading up to his suite. He saw her as soon as he walked in the door. She looked as beautiful, and fuckable, as ever. Her long, dark hair hung halfway down her back. She was with that blonde guy again. The one who always seemed glued to her side. He'd never seen them show any signs of being a couple but maybe they just didn't display it in public.

Part of him was tempted to go and talk to her.  Maybe he should take her to bed and fuck the hell out of her, if she was up for it of course. Carla obviously didn't want him any more and he was fucked if he was going to spend his life jerking off in the toilet thinking about that vixen dressed in pink. He knew his conscience wouldn't let him  do it though, no matter how much he wanted her.

He saw Racing Point driver Lance Stroll approach the group and throw his arm around her shoulder. She laughed at something Lance said.  Seb knew he had no right to feel jealous, but he did. 

"You think you hide it but you don't, you know," said Kimi Raikkonen, sliding into the seat next to Seb.

"Hide what?"asked Seb, trying to play dumb.

"The Racing Point girl, the one you are always watching. You want her."

"Don't talk stupid Kimi, I'm a married man."

"But still you want her."

Seb played with the beer mat on the table in front of him, turning it over and over with his fingers.

"So what if I do? Carla doesn't want me anymore." Kimi laughed.

"But Sebastian Vettel is too pure and loyal to take a lover."

"I meant every word of my vows Kimi.  Even if Carla didn't."

"It's a good job, it seems you are too late anyway."  Seb turned his head and saw her leaving the bar with her friends. Maybe over the winter he could forget her.

Maybe  he and Carla could get over their problems. He knew he would give it everything he had, but he didn't know if that would be enough.

                                          ***

The world was going crazy. A deadly virus, originating from Wuhan in China, was sweeping across the globe. Covid-19 was killing hundreds of thousands. Most of the world had gone into lockdown. 

The teams had all been in Melbourne ready for the start of the new season.  Word soon got around that a member of McLaren had tested positive for the virus. Rumours began circulating that the race was going to be cancelled. So when Kimi called and asked Seb if he wanted to fly back to Switzerland with him, he readily agreed.

Soon after they had left the official announcement was made that the race had indeed been cancelled. In the days that followed, one by one the remaining races were either cancelled or postponed. No one seemed to know when, or even if, the season would actually start.

Seb made the most of his time at home, spending time with his girls,  doing a bit of DIY. He also tried to mend the relationship between him and Carla. To a certain extent he succeeded. She began allowing him to make love to her again, but there was still something missing. The passion had gone.

The weeks passed and soon it was May. He was out in the garden one day planting a flower garden with the girls when he heard the landline phone ringing.  Carla appeared at the door with the phone in her hand.

"Seb, it's Mattia for you."  Seb wiped his hands on the front of his tshirt and took the phone off of her.

"Hello Mattia, how are you?" he asked, wondering what the Italian wanted. Maybe they had a date for the season to start.

"Sebastian. I am great thank you. Now, I won't beat around the bush. Basically, the directors and I have been talking about your contract renewal. It ends this year as I'm sure you will know. I'm afraid that we have decided not to renew it. Scuderia Ferrari are looking to the future and quite frankly, we don't think you are the driver you once were. We  are telling you now because we will be announcing your replacement in a few days time. Sylvia has arranged a statement to be released later."

Seb felt a lump in his throat.  This had always been his dream. He wanted so much to win a world championship to take back to Maranello. He couldn't speak. He was upset. He was furious. The sneaky little twat had led him to believe he was still there first choice of driver. He hung up the phone without speaking. He wondered what fool they'd signed to replace him. Antonio Giovinazzi? Ricciardo?

"Seb, what is it?" Carla asked him.

"Ferrari just fired me. Well, told me that after this year I'm out."

Carla said nothing. He'd been expecting a bit of sympathy. He stormed off into the house and shut himself in his study. The tears were welling in his eyes. What the hell was he going to do?  Maybe he should just pack it all in and retire.  But he loved it. He still loved it as much as the day he had started. He slammed his fist down on his desk in frustration. He needed Carla's support but she didn't care. He was all alone.