The Fire Inside (Sebastian Vettel)

18. Please Forgive Me

Emily peered around the door of the canteen.

"Has he gone?" she asked Kara, who was sitting at the table nearest to the door.

Kara nodded.

"Yes, he had a training session to go to. He couldn't keep Antti waiting any longer. You can stop hiding now. He knows you were here. He saw your car Emily. I told him you were in a meeting with Connor, otherwise he would have come looking for you."

"He can piss off. If it's not work related I don't want to hear what he has to say."

"He seemed down Emily. I could see it in his eyes. Maybe you should at least hear him out." Emily glared at her friend.

"What can he say that will make this better Kara? He was kissing her right in the middle of that club, when he knew I was there! I'm surprised no one sold pics to the tabloids!"

"I don't know what I can say to excuse what I did but please let me try Emily," came the voice from behind her.

"I thought you'd gone," she said, without turning around.

"I had to make you think I had so you'd come out of hiding. I'm not stupid. I know you're avoiding me. No one has a three hour meeting with Connor. That man just doesn't have that attention span. Please, just give me ten minutes. I'm begging you Emily."

Emily nervously chewed her bottom lip. She really didn't want to talk to him but they'd started to attract attention. People were looking at them.

"OK, ten minutes. Then you leave me alone, got it?" She turned to face him, taking in his scruffy appearance. He was wearing a pair of jeans that had seen better days, an oversized Aston Martin Polo Shirt, and had obviously not shaved for a while. He looked tired.

"Come on, meeting room 2 is free," she said, her voice softening.

He followed her out of the canteen and down the corridor. She opened the door of the room and they went in. Seb closed the door behind them.

Emily perched on the edge of a table. Seb stood nervously, trying to think of how to begin.

"Nine and a half minutes. Get talking."

"You're not going to make this easy for me are you Emily?"

"Did you really expect me to?" He shook his head, sheepishly.

"Emily, I am so sorry for what I did. I don't know what was going through my head. I don't even remember doing it. I don't want her, I want you."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"OK, so I'll start with what I do know. Please just let me say what I have to say." She nodded.

"I was jealous Emily. I saw you spending time with Charles and I got jealous. I know we weren't together but I couldn't stop thinking about you and him, and I didn't like it. Then you both vanished and I was thinking all kinds of things. Like how stupid I was to think friends with benefits could work. I was wishing I'd made you mine. So I began drinking heavily, trying to get the thoughts of you and him out of my head. That is literally all I remember. I know I fucked up Emily. I know I did. Please forgive me. I'm begging you for one more chance. Be my girl Emily. Not a friend with benefits. My girl. One I can kiss in public. Emily, I need you."

Emily felt her heart racing. She knew he meant his apology. He looked so desperate to be believed. She wanted nothing more than to tell him yes and fall into his arms but it wasn't that simple.

"So, let's get one thing straight Seb. Nothing happened between Charles and I. We chatted, we danced, we drank champagne. He asked me back to his hotel. I said no because I liked someone else. You. We were sat outside for some air, I was way too hot in there. Then when we came back in you were kissing her. I picked my bag up from the table next to you and you didn't even notice. I get that you were jealous, I get that you were drunk. Just answer me this. Did you take her back to your room that night?" Seb shook his head.

"No. Carlos and Daniel had to take me back. I was shitfaced. I was distraught, and your brother had apparently given me this."he said, pointing to his fading black eye.

"He's protective over me. He's always been like that since mum died. Please don't hold it against him. He loves this job. He can't afford to lose it."

"Emily, don't worry. I won't take it any further. I deserved it. And I get it, I'd do it to anyone who hurt my sisters. I promise you I did not take her to bed. In fact, the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Daniel's ugly mug about 6 inches from my face. Nearly shit myself."

Emily laughed.

"I tried to find you that morning but you'd already gone. Your phone's been off. I've been waiting to see you here. If you hadn't been here I'd have turned up on your doorstep. I'm begging you once again Emily. Please forgive me. I've been stupid. I will never do that again to you. You deserve so much more. You have to believe me."

Emily sighed.

"It's not a question of believing you Seb. I do believe you. I do forgive you but you hurt me Seb. I was beginning to let my guard down. I was trusting you. I've been hurt so badly in the past. You don't know what I went through. I need to protect myself Seb. We would never work. We're from two different worlds. I'm sorry but I can't do this. We have to work together so we can try and be friends. As for anything else? I'm sorry. It's not happening."

The tears filled her eyes as she spoke. Seb just looked defeated.

"Can I kiss you one last time? Please," he begged.
She nodded and walked over into his arms. He covered her mouth with his. He kissed her gently, and lovingly. She had to find the strength to pull away. She had to. She couldn't lose herself in this man. She wasn't going to repeat her mistakes of the past, losing herself for a man who had the power to hurt her. She pulled away.

"Goodbye Seb," she said as she walked out of the room.