The Fire Inside (Sebastian Vettel)

44. Missing

Seb parked the car outside Emily's house. He knew she wasn't there, her car had gone, but he banged on the door anyway.

He'd taken the next available flight to the UK straight after the race, avoiding all interviews, claiming illness. He had to see her. He had to convince her she was making a big mistake.

He'd called and called. Her phone was constantly switched off. Joel was frantic too. No-one knew where she was.

To his surprise the door opened, but it wasn't Emily he saw standing there. There was a petit blonde who looked at him in disbelief.

"Wow, you got here quick. She said you'd come but was expecting it to take a bit longer."

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I'm Holly, Emily's friend. I'm renting off of her while she's away. I used to live here before."

"Where's Emily Holly? I need to know."

"I can't help you there I'm afraid. I don't know. She told me to tell you to let her go, to give her space."

"I can't do that Holly."

"She said you'd say that. That's why she wouldn't tell me where she was going. So I wouldn't take pity on you and tell you."

"Please Holly, you must have some idea," he begged.

"You need to give her time," the blonde said, her expression softening. Seb turned and walked away, returning to his car.

He had no idea where to go from there. Where in the world was she? He slammed his fists down on his steering wheel.

"Fuck!!!" he yelled.

***

Seb, Antti and Britta entered the hotel lobby in Jeddah. Seb was aware of people staring at him. Word had gotten around that Emily had done a disappearing act in Melbourne and everyone was gossiping about whether she would turn up in Saudi Arabia or not. He knew she wouldn't. Otmar had already told him she wasn't coming. She'd took the rest of the season off for personal reasons.

Charles felt bad as he looked at Seb. The older man looked broken. Charles realised he couldn't have been more wrong about Seb's feelings for Emily. It had never been about revenge. Seb loved her. He really did. Charles could see that now. He wanted to comfort him but he knew nothing he could say would make things better.

Joel felt so guilty as he saw Seb crossing the lobby. He looked rough. He was unshaven and looked like he hadn't slept for a week. Nothing like the charismatic man he usually was. Joel felt guilty because he knew exactly where Emily was. He had done all along.

Oh, she hadn't told him but he'd had a feeling and when he'd checked his feeling out he'd been right. It didnt feel right keeping it from Seb but his loyalty was to his sister. If she needed to do this he'd support her whatever.

***

Seb gave it everything he had. The more he put into his racing, the less he thought about her. He found the limit, then he pushed the limit. He did things in that car that shouldn't have been possible, shocking Mercedes and Red Bull to the core.

He topped FP1, FP2 and was second in FP3 only because a red flag had ended the session early before he could set a faster lap. He dominated quali. No-one wanted to bet against him in the race. Sebastian Vettel was on a mission.

***

Seb lifted the trophy. His second win for Aston Martin. The photographer's flashes erupted all around him. He wondered if she'd been watching wherever she was. He wondered if she was proud of him? He felt empty inside. This win meant nothing to him.

***
Seb lay in his bed looking at the ceiling. He had come to a decision. He was going to forget about her. He should never have loved her. He would never love a woman again. Everytime he loved he lost. Love was a weakness. And he couldn't afford to be weak. He wanted the championship back. The only people he was going to love were his family. They were the only ones thst mattered anymore.

No one was going to get close enough to hurt him again.

***

So, here he was. Abu Dhabi. The final race of the season. After this he would have a hard earned rest over Christmas before getting straight back into training in the new year.

He barely thought of Emily now. He'd closed his mind off from her. Perhaps he needed to get laid to exorcise that final piece of her from his mind. She didn't care. If she did she'd be here. Maybe he'd have a crack at Demi. She was a pretty girl. He'd never noticed before, he'd been too blinded by Emily. Yes, he'd ask her out for a drink after the race. Then hopefully persuade her back to his room for a good, hard fuck.

***

In the end he couldn't do it. All he could see was a girl in pink. The girl that haunted his sleep. He could shut her out of his mind as much as he wanted when he was awake but she was always waiting for him in his dreams.

The night before the race was no exception. He drifted off to sleep and there she was.

"Hey handsome," she greeted him.

"Why won't you just get out of my head?" he screamed at her.

"Because you love me, and you know it Sebastian. You always will."

"Not any more. I hate you! You tore my heart out!"

"Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better."

"Why did you leave Emily? Why?"

"You know why."

"Chris. You didn't love me enough to stay."

"Sebastian, I'm sorry."

"Just leave me alone."

Then, a giant shadowy figure appeared from nowhere and grabbed Emily, dragging her away.

"Emily!!!"he screamed.

He woke up, sweat dripping from him.

"Emily," he sobbed. He swore to himself this was the last time he was going to cry over her. He knew that was a lie. Where was she? He so needed to know.

***

The fireworks exploded into the night sky. There was a new world champion. The Red Bull garage erupted. Max Verstappen had done it!

Seb sat in his driver's room, sad and alone. His race had ended at the start when he'd took one risk too many and crashed at turn 1. He'd let the team down. He'd let himself down. Otmar had ranted and raved. Seb hadn't even tried to defend himself. Everything Otmar said was true. He'd been stupid and reckless.

He just wanted to go home. By home he meant Germany. To his parents. He tapped away on his phone and amended his flight. Instead of waiting until Tuesday he would fly out early tomorrow morning. He had never been so pleased for winter break to arrive.

He had no idea whether Emily would be coming back to the team next season or not. He hoped not. He couldn't handle seeing her all the time.

He headed back to his hotel. The receptionist called out his name as he passed. He looked around.

"Herr Vettel, someone left this for you," she called out, holding out an envelope. He took it.

After reaching his room he opened the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper....