Love and Hate (paused)

Feeling broken again

Dixies POV: I fucked up worst than I ever had. Noah shouldn't forgive me, I wouldn't forgive myself. I would fight for him like he fought for me even though it would be really difficult because I am known for my smart ass mouth and not thinking before I speak and that is exactly what happened but my reaction came from anger because I was mad everyone was against me but know I realize that they had every right to be mad. Then my head saw the guy and choose him to make me feel better and don't get me wrong I was most definitely drunk but that made it even worst. I was now crying myself to sleep only imagining what Noah was feeling like. I planned to go the Bahamas and then get on a plane and go back to L.A myself. I wouldn't let them feel bad for me and take me back when there was nothing to feel bad for and I didn't deserve to be forgiven. I felt broken again or for me the first time sense I always caused the other person to brake.

Noah's POV: all I did was cry and scroll through all my picture we had. My gut feeling told me this was the end but my heart continued to say that we would get through this. My head was tore it hurt like hell and I felt like it was the night 2 years ago. I didn't know what would happen if we stopped being together or even talking. Delilah, what about how she felt. Dixie wasn't a monster but she has a damn lot of negatives and everyone does but some people don't show it and Dixie does. This is why we kept getting ripped apart. And I hate to say it but it was all her fault. I didn't do anything then and I still haven't and that is what I held close to my heart. She texted me goodnight and I left it on read. I couldn't and wouldn't answer I needed to spud as strong and mad as possible even though I was vulnerable and broken once again. I felt broken again and this time it felt ever lasting as I tried to silence my sobs because 1 of the very few people keeping me her was right in the room. Delilah was my angel and god sent her to me at the perfect time.

The next morning

When I woke up my nose was stuffy and Delilah had lived to my side. She was sleeping softly with her body right on mine. She had a smile on her face and I realized this a while ago. She always fell asleep with a smile and kept the smile through the night. It made me smile even though I was all confused inside. I got out of bed and Delilah woke up and followed me. We both got dresses and she said after we had a whole conversation on water "where is mommy," I responded "umm she is going to have a mommy vacation so you may see her and you may not for a little," she hugged my leg and said "don't be sad mommy will be back from her vacation soon," I laughed because I didn't know if I was happy, sad, angry or even scared of the outcome so I said "I won't and we will have a fun daddy daughter day," she clapped her hands and jump up and down and grabbed my hand almost pulling me out of the room. We walked down and we went to charlis room I knocked and she answered with a robe on and then chase laying In the bed I was startled at first but charli was like my sister and we were tight close so i knew she would tell me. Delilah broke the silence saying in a sassy voice. "Auntie char and chasey hurwy up we going to go swimming and thden we arwe gowing to the watwer parwk," charli said "okay sassy pants," and Delilah giggled charli closed the door saying "stay here we need 10 minutes," so me and Delilah went to the next door and which was addi and Bryce we knocked and they answered addi pulled me into a hug and said "you good," she was referring to Dixies problem. I responded hugging her really close "um good enough to go swimming and to the water park," she smiled and said "5 minutes," when she closed the door charli and chase came out with smiles on there face Delilah hugged chase and charli. Then charli hugged me saying "you good extra bro," I laughed and said "getting there," I wasn't going to lie because I want but I was good enough. We went swimming and then saw dixie past Delilah ran out of the pool and to Dixie yelling "mommy your back from your mommy vacation," Dixie smiled but not as wide more closed and uncomfortable with all our eyes on her. She said "no actually I will be going back on one and you will stay with daddy," Delilah ran back into the pool with excitement. Then Dixie said to all of us "I'm catching a flight back to LA when we go to the Bahamas. By the time you come back my stuff will be out of the house and I will be there to take Delilah," I just nodded focusing on something else "okay," she walked away back to her room to pack because we would be in the Bahamas tomorrow.  I hoped everything would go smoothly but as soon as world got out we broke up again griffin would be back and he would be another problem in the books.

I know this one is short I'm sorry this week is the end of the year for me so I will be very busy sorry if I don't post a day.