Fix You (Niall Horan)

Chapter 4

Niall's POV:

"He never came back," Kylie finished off. Oh my gosh. My heart broke for her. And she could tell, too. I tried to be strong her. It took everything I had not to cry with her, but I knew I couldn't do that. It would have made her worse.

I didn't say anything. It's not because I didn't know what to say. She didn't need me to say anything. I sat and rubbed circles in her back as she continued on, probably just thinking out loud.

"Sometimes it's like he's not even gone...I feel like he's just going to walk into this house any second and we can pick up where we left off," Kylie said, in such a monotone voice that I'd never heard out of her. Those eyes that were once sparkling and full of happiness were completely lifeless. She was almost like a new person.

I kept thinking that she was hiding something else, like her dad was only part of her troubles, but I dismissed the thought and continued trying to comfort her.

"Wanna be left alone?" I said, after a little bit. Although I already knew the answer.

Kylie just looked up at me, and shook her head.

 I engulfed her in a bonecrushing hug, not wanting to let go. She sobbed into my polo, but I didn't care. We just sat there, and it was probably a good hour of her crying. I didn't know what I could do to possibly make her feel better. Kylie looked up at me, and I wiped a tear away from her cheek with my thumb.

I leaned in, and I was ready to press my lips onto hers.

NO, NIALL.

You can't be taking advantage of her like that, I scolded myself. She's fragile.

I was so afraid that I would hurt her. I couldn't do that to her. Someone so beautiful and sensitive as Kylie couldn't be broken. And I didn't trust myself.

I coughed uncomfortably.

"C'mon, Ky. Let's get you cheered up. How about some ice cream?" I asked her. She nodded gratefully, but her eyes told a different story.

"Or if you just want to stay h--" I began, but Kylie interrupted me. "No, Niall it's fine. Let's go," she forced a smile. I could see right through her.

Why doesn't she want to go? What did I do wrong? I asked myself, starting to get worried. I tried to convince myself that she was still upset about having to discuss her father. I grabbed her by the hand, trying to lighten her mood.

"Let's hit it!" She said, trying to put on a fake cheery attitude. I feigned as if I couldn't tell. I led her to the car and opened the door for her. She smiled at me and hopped into the passenger seat. We were mostly silent for the ride.

We went to a tiny little shop near the busy part of town and walked inside. There were so many different flavors, it was crazy. I looked around, my eyes wide.

But Kylie still looked as if she was hung up on something, like something else was bothering her.

Kylie's POV:

Stop crying, I willed myself. Niall was going to think I was some big baby. I tried to pull myself together. I looked up at him and forced a smile. Boy, did he look uncomfortable. He suggested going out for ice cream. Of course.

I haven't had ice cream in months. I don't think I could eat it. Too many calories, too much sugar, too much fat. I just couldn't do it.

I'm not gaining the weight back. But he can't get suspicious.

So I went along with it.

We didn't talk the whole car ride, accept for me giving him directions. I didn't want to say anything, I was trying to let him gather his thoughts. After all, I am some random girl who just poured her heart out to him and began sobbing uncontrollably. Damn it, Kylie. You're such an idiot, I thought. I silent tear rolled down my cheek. And it had to be right at the moment when Niall looked over at me.

I tried to turn towards the window so he couldn't see my face, but I was too late. He reached over and gave my hand a squeeze.

"You're crying," he noted. I wiped the tear away with the back of my hand.

"Nope, I'm fine," I protested. But he could see right through me.

We walked into the ice cream shop and Niall's face lit up. I stifled my giggle. I tried to distract myself by reading the signs and watching the passing cars and doing anything in my power to keep from looking at that ice cream.

I felt so disgusted with myself. So many calories. I was so jealous of Savannah. She was tall and skinny and beautiful. And she ate almost as much as Niall. Why couldn't I have her body? I was short and fat and I hated looking at myself in the mirror. There is absolutely no way I am allowing myself to eat this ice cream.

"What do you want, Ky? It's on me," Niall said. No.

"It's fine Niall, I don't need any," I tried to assure him.

"What? Why?" He questioned. I avoided his gaze.

"I'm not feeling well," I lied. Niall looked at me, disappointment in his eyes.

"Okay."

He turned on his heels and began to walk out. I grabbed him my the arm.

"Wait," I said. "You still need to get some!"

"No, Kylie. It's fine. If you're not feeling well, I'll take you home," he said. I felt bad. I could totally tell he wanted some ice cream.

"Niall. Get your ass in line and grab yourself some ice cream. I know you want it." I pushed him in line before he could protest, and smiled smugly.

"Can I help you?" The cashier asked, with a sweet smile. She was young, about a year younger than me. And I could tell she was a fan of One Direction by the way she looked at Niall.

"Yeah, I'll have a double scoop of Chocolate Peanut Butter on a waffle cone, please." Niall said, returning the smile. I shuddered, and thought back to the time when I would come to this place practically every day with Savannah and that's exactly what I ordered. I forced the memory out of my brain and pulled out my phone.

I googled the restaurant and found the menu with the calories of all the ice cream. Yeah, that would help me convince myself not to have anything.

But it didn't work.

Niall looked over his shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?" Niall asked me.

"I'll have the same," I said to the cashier. My eyes widened and I covered my mouth. I was about to say I don't want anything, but no words came out. I just got myself into a trap that I couldn't get out of. I had to eat it, or Niall would think something's up. I swear that boy could read me like a book.

Niall got our orders and handed me one of the cones. I inspected it, as if it was poisonous. But I still stuck my tongue out and gingerly licked it. Oh my gosh, it was so good. It had been so long since I had had something like this...I really missed being able to eat what I want.

Niall and I ate and talked for a long time. On the way back, I started to get this feeling in my stomach. I looked down and felt as if I had a huge food baby. Or twins. Or triplets. I immediately regretted eating that ice cream. I tried to control myself as another tear threatened to spill out of my eyes. I can fix this, I thought.

I ran into the bathroom as soon as we got home, and did something I've never done before. I stuck two fingers as far down my throat as I could. I leaned over the toilet and fixed it.