fifty six - "I don't like Italian food"

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S A R G E N T

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S A R G E N T

"Hello, Sargent" I heard Dr. Haynes say as I sat down at the familiar chair.

"Hello Dr. Haynes" I replied, politely making her eyes widen slightly.

"How have you been? We haven't talked in a while, I'm excited to hear about what you've been up to" she asked and I thought for a while, "I'm even better than the last time we talked. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes you know, when I'm alone I get this weird feeling, like it's slowly taking over my lungs and I'm unable to breathe. It only happens when I'm alone like I don't even have to have sad thoughts, to be honest it only happens when I think about the happy moments I've had the last days" I said and she noted it down while nodding at my words.

"Maybe what you're feeling is...anxiety? Abandonment issues? I think you're scared that your happiness will leave you, and your happiness is...?"

"Willow" I answered and she nodded, "What do you do when this feeling hits you?" she asked and the answer was already there, "I remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and I get to see Willow again" she nods at my words again.

"Sargent, we have a little problem here. You can't always depend on Willow, it's not healthy for you or her. I know Willow is an important factor behind your positive change but you can't put all your reasons to stay alive or positively function on her. She's just a human too. And you're human too. We're all humans. Tomorrow is a new day, yes, but tomorrow might not always be there for all of us too" the weird feeling is back, she's talking about death.

"Willow, will not leave me"

"That's not in your hands. We're all vulnerable creatures in this world. I'm so happy that you've found an anchor, a reason. But it can't be your only reason. Think about other reasons. I know there are some reasons other than Willow too"

"My brother. I know that he would've wanted me to be strong and never let go because I'm left alone" I said and she nodded, "That's a very good start." she said and I nodded back at her.

"I don't want you to think that I'm against you and Willow, I'm here to help you and I've had other patients like you. You're here to heal, slowly. Holding on to people and stuff that aren't permanent in this world can... break down the processes we've built. That's life and no matter how strong we are, there's always a loophole, holding tightly onto our hearts, a tiny mistake and all the processes we've made will all go down and we're back where we started. Do you get what I'm saying." she asked and I nodded, "Yes, I understand" I said and she smiled.

That's going to be a challenge. A world without Willow is a world without Sargent.

W I L L O W

Three weeks.

That's how much time I have left with my mom, Sargent, Elijah, Ruby, Gray and Cody.

My thoughts were interrupted when I got a notification on my phone and when I looked at the screen there was a message from Victor, my dad.

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