Winter Is Here // Game Of Thrones

The Purple Wedding(Jaime POV)

It was my sons wedding. I should be happy. He was marrying a fine, noble lady of a great House. But he didn't deserve her in the slightest. I could barely look at him. How did he turn out this way? Was it my fault? Was it Cercei's?

Before I believed that I was the one to blame for his state of mind, but now that I was free of Cercei's charm, I finally woke up. I saw the world for what it really was. I saw my family for who they really were. Cold blooded murderers. Of course Tyrion, Myrcella and Tommen were an exception. They were good, and pure. But for how long?

I had tried to get better, for my sake, for Audelia's sake. But it was hard. I had tried to cut the wine out completely, but when I tried to go to sleep, I saw her, smelled her, heard her. I could barely get a wink of sleep. Passing out drunk was the only way. Although then I woke up with a big headache, and an even stronger will to die. But there have been no news of Audelia's death, and even I have to admit, I had hope. Slim, but existent hope that she was alright.

"My Lord", greeted Sansa as she walked up to me. "How are you?".

"I should be asking you that, my lady. It is your family that is suffering, not mine", I reply, trying to act cheerful but I knew I did not look my best. I had bags under my eyes, and my hair was greying quickly with all the stress I was enduring. I had the beginnings of a beard, which only added to my dishevelled look.

"When you help me escape, come with me. We will find Audelia together. You are cracking without her, any person with eyes can see it", she whispered and I looked around frantically making sure nobody was around.

"I cannot", I argue.

"You cannot, or you are too much of a coward?", she asked and I raised an eyebrow at how straight forward she was. It was one of the traits of the Starks, I guessed. Audelia had it. I absolutely adored it. But when anybody else showed it, it made me more than uncomfortable.

"My lady-", I began but she interrupted me.

"You are breaking without her, yet you are not willing to do anything to get her back. That is pathetic, even for someone like you", sneered Sansa and walked away, followed by her handmaiden Shae, who was trying to hide her smirk.

I sighed, knowing that she was right. I was a coward, I was pathetic. I didn't even know Audelia that well. We spend one night together. Most of our conversations were to insult one another, yet I fell in love with her. Completely and hopelessly in love. 

"Our son is getting married, why are you not smiling?", asked a voice from beside me, and I had to stop myself from slapping her.

"Your son, you mean. You have made it very clear that I am just his King's Guard, and uncle", I bite back and Cercei send me a look.

"What did the little bird want from you?", asked Cercei after a moment.

"Why are you asking? Jealous?", I reply, looking at all the gathered guests.

"Should I be? You haven't entered my chambers since the moment you got here. I know you had a little fling with the Stark whore, maybe even had some feelings but she is not coming back. Forget about her and move on. Please", said Cercei, looking at me genuinely but I did not meet her eyes.

"Is that it, your Grace? Or is there some other concerns you would like to share with me?", I ask, she scoffed, yet did not leave.

"She ruined you, Jaime. She probably never even loved you, she was only with you for the power, and the gold. She is a whore. And a traitor, just like her brother and father. It's a hidden family trait I guess", continued Cercei and I could no longer listen to her, so I just walked away. Leaving her standing alone.