Winter Is Here // Game Of Thrones

Pain(Jaime POV)

Audelia would never survive the South. When she returns, even I won't be able to protect her. She may think she is clever, she definitely is, but not as clever as she needs to be. If my father wanted to establish a connection between the Lannisters and the Starks, he would certainly use Sansa. She was quieter, and more compliant. Besides, I heard that Joffrey has decided to marry Margaery Tyrell instead of Sansa. So what stops my father from marrying Sansa to Tyrion, and killing Audelia? Nothing.

"You can't go to King's Landing", I whisper softly as I run my fingers through Audelias hair. We were lying in bed, naked and under covers. 

Don't get me wrong, I certainly want to marry Audelia. I have dreamt about it for more than a year. From the moment I saw her, I imagined a future. I shouldn't have, but I did. And so far nothing has been going smoothly. I got my bloody had cut off, she lost her father, her brothers. I still felt partially guilty for the death of Bran. Maybe if he had both of his legs, he would have been able to run away. 

"But I can't just leave Sansa", she argued as she looked up at me. Her blue Tully eyes meeting my green Lannister ones. She was perfect. Everything about her. 

"You won't. I promise to get her out of there. But I don't want you getting hurt, Lilibet", I whisper back to her, using the nickname I came up with. It fit her, she was so tiny and innocent.

"Jaime-", she tried to argue but I shook my head. 

"I can't lose you too", I murmured and she kissed me softly on the lips.

"You won't. But what am I supposed to do? Besides we both have to travel together, I promised Roose. And I keep my promises", she argued. 

"You could sneak away. Not your first time. Get back to your brother, where you are safe. I'll get Sansa back to you, and then work out some kind of deal with my father so I can marry you, and we could live far away from all of this mess", I proposed.

"Like where?", she asked.

"Casterly Rock", I replied no hesitation. "It's beautiful, you would love it".

"If I go to Robb, I don't know if I will be able to return. I doubt he will be very compliant".

"Perhaps, but maybe I will be able to persuade him".

"No offence Jaime, but I doubt my brother will want to listen to you".

"We'll figure it out when we get there. I just need you to be safe, and I will get Sansa out of there, just trust me, please. Lilibet, go North", I beg her, and she looked at me teary-eyed.

"I don't want to separate again", she whispered, barely audible. She wrapped her thin arms around my middle-section and buried her face into my shoulder.

"It won't be for very long.", I try to assure her.

"If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were trying to get rid of me", I heard her say, and I chuckled.

"Never", I assure her and kiss her behind her ear.

She looked up at me with pursed lips. She was not liking this was for the best. I needed her safe. Even if it meant not with me. I looked at her sadly as I brushed some of her hair behind her ear. I should never have fallen in love with her. I am ruining her life. My family is ruining her life. She couldn't go with me to the South. And I will do anything to stop her. 

Audelia was not dying.

The next morning, we got ready and had breakfast. Our journey to King's Landing began, although we had to leave Brienne behind, she would be send to Robb Stark, so if I could get Audelia to go North as well, I was sure Brienne wouldn't be killed.

"Audelia, I beg you. Go to your brother", I said but Audelia shook her head as she wrapped her cape around her shoulders.

"I am coming with you to get Sansa. I am not leaving you again", she replied. I clenched my jaw tightly. 

Starks are so stubborn.

"You can't", I argue but she looked up at me.

"And why not?", she asked cockily.

I looked deep into her eyes and I saw love. Love for me that shouldn't be there. She shouldn't love a monster like me. She should love some honorable, young knight. That Gendry guy would be a better option than me. But she loved me.

I realized that there was only one way to get her not to come. It hurt my heart just to think about it, but it was my last choice. 

"I am going back to Cercei", I whisper, looking at the ground.

That was a lie. I didn't care about her any longer. I fell in love. In real love. With a Stark. But I loved Audelia too much to let her be with me. 

"What do you mean?", asked Audelia quietly. I didn't reply, as I had no words. I didn't know what to say. "Jaime?".

"I'm sorry", I was able to choke out.

"You said you loved me", she whispered and I made the mistake of looking at her, I saw tears spilling from her eyes.

"Yes", I reply simply, looking at the ground again.

"Did you not mean it? I don't understand. I love you Jaime. And if this is some kind of scheme to get me not to come with you-".

"I love you Jaime", she choked up. I had tears of my own forming. 

I hated this. I hated doing this.

"Don't make me choose", I finally said, looking up at her. Forcing myself to meet her eyes, and see her pain. 

"Why? Because you'll choose her?".

No, I love you, Audelia Stark. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh, or the way they darken when you get angry. I love the small dimples on your cheeks when you smile brightly. I love it when you jokingly insult me. The way you will cock your head to look at me when I say something stupid. I love your dominance, the fierceness in your eyes. Your voice is like honey, sweet and gentle. Your hands are the softest I have ever seen, and holding them is my favourite thing to do.

I feel like I belong with you. You make me feel welcome and at home.

You are the only one for me, my only love. My soulmate. My happy ending. And I cannot imagine spending my life with anybody other than you.

"Yes, I will choose her".