My mother died of cancer. She had been told of the cancer about 7 months before her death. During that time we called in hospice and I read every book or pamphlet that I was given to prepare myself for what lay ahead. I believed if one tried hard enough any death could be peaceful. Hospice could control pain and our job as a family was to meet her needs. But I wasn't prepared. There was so much that no one ever told me. And because there were components of her death that were not peaceful I was left feeling as if I could have done better.
When my mother's death was at hand, things happened not described in any of the materials I had been given to read. The experience was not peaceful. She didn't see people who had already died or talk of feeling ready. We did not have that one last wonderful talk. Instead she was agitated, restless, anxious, and spoke of nightmares.
