I can't breathe (Boyxboy)

Chapter 3

[...Chapter 3...] - I can't breathe

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So after my mental breakdown the other day, I've been thinking a lot and sleeping a lot. I could REALLY use a drink. So I'm having a party. I don't need a party to drink, clearly, but it would be nice to have some people over. I am going to invite all the people I know and I'm even letting them bring friends, just because I can.

I went shopping, cause I was out of booze. I had a talk with Giles, who was following me around the whole time. "So how are you?" Giles asked with a nervous smile. "Couldn't be happier" I aswered taking a sip of a bottle. Giles was now looking worried. "You know... My father always told me: Not everyone trapped by alcohol, is an alcoholic". Why was he telling me this? He knows I need to drink. "He sounds like a great man" I said looking away from him. I heard him sigh and continued walking.

"Eli, I can tell something is up. Whats going on?". If he doesn't stop, I am going to break down again. I could already feel the emotions bottling up. "Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I am just tired" This, I said quite convincingly. I almost convinced myself, or was it the alcohol?

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People were flowing in through my door and I could already tell, that I didn't recognize anyone of them. Some were dressed casually with jeans and T-shirts, others were overly dressed while some was under dressed. I, of course was wearing blacks jeans and a plain hoodie.

I had been standing in front of the mirror, looking at myself, and thought; What does my style express? What do I express? I had been looking at the scars, that were covering my face. My brown eyes, almost watering. My hair was almost grown to my shoulders, and did a great job covering up, what no one should ever see. It was slowly getting curly, because I hadn't taken a shower since that day I cried. I was afraid, that it would all come back.

I was sitting on the couch. People were walking by, dancing and swallowing each others faces. The apartment smelled. It smelled of people wearing to much deodorant. It also smelled of beer, pee and sweat. All of the above combined, was how I was hoping this party would turn out.

As I was sitting in my own thoughts, someone touched my back. I didn't pay much attention to it, because it was almost unnoticeable. Then they started carresing my back. Now I was intrueged. I turned my head and saw him. A guy, blond hair, blue eyes, starring at me, smiling with those pearly-white teeths. I instantly felt sick. Not because I was disguted, but because he was so beautiful and innocent looking.

"Hi again" he said, his eyes searching for mine. His blond, curly hair was waving in front of his eyes as he chuckled at my puzzled expression. "Again?" I stumbled over my own words. Now he was the one looking confused. "You don't remember me?" My body was heating up from the sad look on his face. "No, I don't. Who.......?"

Before I knew it, his lips were on mine. It had been so long since I've kissed someone, but he knew what to do. The kiss was varm and very loving. I felt wanted by the way, he kissed me. I could suddenly feel a tear trembling down my cheek. I didn't care if I cried, I didn't care if I didn't know him, it felt so fucking good, and familiar on some level. His lips were soft, plumb and now wet from the tears.

As his lips were slowly removed from mine, I saw that I was not the one crying. Tears was falling down his face. I slowly liftet my hand up to his cheek. "Why are you crying?" I asked, smiling, as I brushed away the tears with my thumb. He shivered at my touch. "You don't remember what you said that night? you don't remember me?". My mind was blowing up with confusing as I was searching for the right thing to say."I am sorry kid, but I don't remember you". Did 'kid' sound wrong? I mean... He looked young, younger than me. "Adam" he said before leaving me confused and kind of sad on the couch.

"Adam" I mumbled to myself. "Adam, Adam, Adam. I don't remember". I must have said that very loud, cause now my friend, Mateo, was on his way over here. Mateo has been my closest friend ever since I moved here. He has been there for me, when I needed him. And although he is gay we've not made out, so get your mind out of the gutter.

"You don't remember Adam? You must be kidding me" he said sounding rather angry. Now I was really confused. Mateo rose and dragged me into my bedroom. After he had thrown me on the bed, he locked the door, shutting out the loud music. "What the hell man? Did you need to throw me?".

"OMG, you really don't remember" He statted, now standing next to me. Mateo was a very girly boy. He is the definition of the word "gay". He is tall, very tall and skinny and he never wears black clothing. He thinks that just because he is gay, he should symbolise it by wearing the colors of the rainbow. As I proceeded to remain quiet, he continued. "Remember the day before the day you woke up naked?" he said breaking the silence. "Was he the one who had undressed me?" now I was creeped out. Looking like he was about to give up, he answered "He was the one laying you in bed after you had undressed yourself infront of him, trying to seduce him, but he didn't touch you. Instead he helped you into bed and told all the guest to leave. After he left, you kept telling me how sweet he was, and that you never felt a temptation as bad. The temptation to hold him, kiss him and tell him that it was all gonna be okay". He paused. "You said it was like, you were meant to be". Its all coming back. I remember now.

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I am just shooting out chapters. Thank you for reading.. :)